As a first time guest reviewer, I figured that would
write a review for the section read the least. Do any
of you read anyway?

Thanks to Time Warner, I have had the disgusting and
enlightening opportunity to preview Elizabeth Royte’s
new book Garbage Land: On the Secret Trail of
. I can, without a doubt now, state that the US
is populated with the most wasteful fuckers on the face of the
planet. As we follow the author, we travel routes like
garbage bag to landfill, toliet to compost plant and
scrap metal to reusable iron.

It is clear that the average American is concerned
with getting their trash off the curb, and out of
olfactory range before it begins to decay. But did we
know about the lives of the “san man” or sanitary
worker and just how competitive the job market for
these jobs are? Over 30,000 applied for the job last
year in New York City alone, for a job with a starting
wage of just $30,000. $30,000 to pick up dog shit,
dirty diapers and musty old underwear (speaking from
experience living with Matt) is the solidification
needed once again to prove that blue collar workers
don’t mean dick in the real corporate force of America,
and it speaks volumes that so many people are
literally dying to get a job wallowing in refuse and
fending off Norwegian rat bites.

Following the trash to various landfills, we find out
the secretive nature of keeping the public out at any
cost. Why in the hell are there guards patrolling the
dumpsites, unless illegal activity is taking place? A
particularly lethal substance called “leachate” is now
seeping through the ground and flowing into rivers,
oceans and backyard grass. Consisting of chemicals,
human waste, animal feces, mercury, battery acid,
rotting food and pesticides, this substance upon
decomposition into liquid state is supposed to be
gathered up and disposed of properly. It being far too
expensive to do so, the dumpsites just “control it as
much as possible”. That is like someone saying, “I
know I just took a shit in your water glass, but I
tried to control it as much as possible”. Landfills
alone are becoming a big business and a draw for big
cities to bribe small, rural (Read Here: lots of
blacks, and “Them brown people”) and pay them large
sums to take and bury their trash. For Bumfuck, USA,
$4 million dollars that pays for new schools,
libraries and town halls is a small price to pay for
Sheniqua having 3 forms of active cancer, DeShon not
being able to breathe without a machine, and
Boomquisha having her third illegitimate child born
with 3 hands.

By far the most disturbing chapter was that dealing
with “E-Waste”, which consists of the fastest growing
dumped waste in the U.S. We are so preoccupied with
having the newest, fastest, thinnest cell phones and
computers, we are throwing out 300 million of them a
year. What is the problem here? How many can I list
before you slice your wrists is the best answer I can
give. One computer monitor contains nearly 4 pounds of
lead (See Boomquisha reference above, to help you with
your thinking) and one, just ONE computer takes over
1.8 tons of raw materials to produce. So Ann Coulter’s
insidious comment “Take the Earth, rape it, it’s
yours” seems to be exactly what we are doing. And
since an integral compound in the making of cell
phones can only be found in Forested Africa, feel free
to talk to your inane friends about how “bitchin” the
new Matrix movie was while gorilla habitats are being
destroyed by millions of acres each year.

And just think, Ms. Royte reminds us, when you are
attempting to keep up with the Joneses; battling for
the greenest lawn, the secret could live in recycled
human shit. Human waste composting, separating liquid
from solid, into small fertilizer pellets — although
possibly being the worst job in the entire world — the
pellets are in actuality excellent grass feed. And,
although we know that babies are the ruination of the
Earth, (okay maybe just Matt and I’s belief), their
diapers account for only 1% of total landfill content.
However, going right along with my beliefs, Christmas
is the single biggest fucking waste of money, trash
etc. known to human kind. The sanitation companies are forced to hire
additional sanitation workers in December just to pick
up the trash left behind from the vermin greedily
digging away on Christmas morning.

In conclusion, I learned to think twice about sticking
my face under the faucet for a quick sip of tap water,
or taking a dip in my local stream. Hell, after
reading this, I don’t even want to leave the house.
Luckily, a weekly ritual in our house became just that
possibility. After learning McDonald’s produces enough
waste daily to fill the Empire State Building, it gave
me a whole new meaning to the Shithouse Cinema experience.

About Matt

Matt is the site’s Longest Serving Critic and chief misanthrope. He divides his time between classics of cinema and the most ridiculous movies he can find on Redbox.
Follow Matt: @mattcale52