Man, Dust is a story that did not need to be told. Serious friends, this movie is shockingly unnecessary. This is a movie that goes back and forth between present day New York and turn of the last century Macedonia for no reason whatsoever. Er, I guess that’s where the director is from. But so what? Dust is an awful movie where one out of three scenes occur with one character holding a gun in the other’s face. It could actually even be one out of two. I’m really not even sure what I just watched, since the plot ping-ponged all over the place. And, Dust contains one of my least favorite devices, that being that the main character is crazy and has imagined it all. Which just helped to solidify my feeling that the movie was pointless from start to finish.
Malibu’s Most Wanted really sucked and I hated it, but it did have one part, which I can’t call good (hell, I can’t even call it “original” since I’ve seen it other films like Hollywood Shuffle), but I will call it analogous to a situation in Dust. You know, before we get to the Malibu’s Most Wanted bit, I just realized how confused and convoluted the previous sentence is. Exactly like the plot of Dust–just a mess. Anyhow, a thief breaks into an old woman’s apartment to rob shit. The old lady catches him and rather than calling the cops she decides to bore him (and me) to death as punishment. Now, the thief is a black guy. I brought up Malibu’s Most Wanted because I am five times the nigger Adrian Lester is, and I glow in the dark. Sees, he is supposed to be some rough street hoodlum but it is painfully obvious that he is a trained actor, and a well trained one at that. Not that he’s good, but I could tell he was acting in every single scene. Turns out he’s British and has won theater awards. So, there was that part in Malibu’s where the two thespian dude’s get hired to play gangstas, and well, the same thing happened here in Dust, only it was off camera. And much, much funnier, which is fucked because Malibu’s Most Wanted is supposed to be a comedy and, well, your guess is as good as mine as to what Dust was supposed to be. It sure as hell wasn’t intended to be funny. But seriously, half of Lester’s dialogue consists of him calling a ninety-year-old woman, “Be-yotch!” And Lester strikes me as the kind of guy who likes acting so that he gets to curse, something which he would never do in his day to day life. Also, apparently writer/director Manchevski never got the memo stating that it is pretty fucked up if the only black person you cast in your film is a burglar.
I guess there’s some gold and other shit and a story that takes place in Macedonia… Yeah, so ostensibly Dust is a western only the two principle cowboy brother’s go to Europe for some unknown reason. One of them even watches Freud vomit. Also, for another unknown reason they totally hate each other. OK, the hatred has something to do with the fact that the really Christian God-fearing one fell in love with and married a whore, and then the other brother said something like, “Dude, your wife is a whore.” Obviously, Wyoming wasn’t big enough for the two of them. Look, honestly, I have no fucking idea. They just sort of show up in rural Macedonia at the turn of the last century and kill almost every person they meet (except for the ones they get pregnant). And even though Dust is horrifically violent (at least nine beheadings) and littered with nudity I was bored silly.
There’s some other plot about the thief dude owing money to some crooked cops, but writer/director Milcho Manchevski never bothers to resolve it, so I won’t either. Rest assured, thief boy winds up with two broken thumbs, yet still manages to smash up he old lady’s apartment and find the gold. Ugh, who knows? This movie was just terrible. At one point, when the one brother cowboy has his gun pulled on the other brother, and twenty or so Turkish army regulars have their guns drawn and aimed at him, “Straigt Outa Compton” by NWA starts blaring. For real, they are in outer Macedonia circa 1901 and we hear, “I’m a brother that will smother your mother and make your sister think I love her.” If you haven’t figured it out, the two main stories bounce back and forth and you know what? I’m done wasting energy on this piece of shit. Don’t watch Dust.
Special Ruthless Ratings:
- This film is from 2001. Is the only reason it got released because one of the main dudes was in Lord of the Rings: I would bet yes. He tied up the Hobbits in The Two Towers.
- Anything else: No
- Really: I have to go watch Anchorman in twenty minutes and I’m trying to conserve my strength.
- Jesus, you’ll need it. Good luck: Thanks.