CORKY ROMANO

corkyramano

Corky Romano is a comedy. The only reason I know that is because I saw it advertised as such. I only laughed once during the film – at the end when Peter Falk said something funny. Oh wait, that isn’t true. I also laughed at the beginning when I saw Corky’s bumpersticker. The eighty minutes in between stretched for so long that I was thinking I had seen that bumper sticker in the fourth grade.

Adam Sandler made some horrible comedies that, instead of offering jokes, just presented things that whoever wrote them thought were funny; for example, eighties music, or gay people. People are fucking morons, so movies like The Wedding Singer made money. Rob Schneider made crappy, profitable versions of those Adam Sandler movies. Corky Romano is a crappy version of a Rob Schneider movie that’s a crappy version of a crappy Adam Sandler Movie. If this chain is extended by one more link, the celluloid will literally be transformed into fecal matter.

Anyway, Corky listens to eighties music. His brother is macho, but secretly and obviously gay. An underground casino has a midget bouncer. In case you can’t tell, these are jokes, or whatever you call the supposedly funny material in these films. Maybe I’ve read too much bell hooks, or maybe it was because I had just read Jonny’s similar complaint about Spider-Man but I couldn’t help noticing that there was only one black person in the whole movie and that they made him the boss, which is supposed to mitigate the fact that everyone else in the film is white, even the criminals. They’re white cuz they’re Nazis, and they’re Nazis so we can root for the mafia when the mafia fights them – not as an excuse to squeeze more white actors into the film. Although it does gives them an excuse to leave latin and (all but one) black actors out of the film altogether, rather than having them play only the roles of criminals.

It’s all just kind of silly, so I won’t even talk about it anymore. There was an Asian guy, though. I think he was gay.

The best thing about this film is that the love interest is way sexy and spends much of the film undercover dressed in a nurses uniform that looks like it was purchased at an adult bookstore.

DVD Extras

This disc comes with a useful feature, whereby it can be placed as a barrier between a beverage container and a wooden table, preventing the condensation from the beverage from making “rings” on the surface of the table.

Ruthless Ratings:

  • Film Overall: 2
  • Direction: 3
  • Story: 1.5
  • Acting: 3
  • Rewatchabilty: Nobody’s ever tried.

Special Ruthless Ratings:

  • Number of times you wished you were watching a Carrot Top movie: 78
  • Number of times you paused the movie to do something else: 0 (I took the “rip the Band-Aid off in one motion” approach. But this Band-Aid was like a mile long.)
  • Number of times you actually said “boo!”: 8
  • Number of times your mind wandered, and you thought, “It’s tough being a Lakers fan. I can’t believe they lost another game these playoffs. What’s next, a game six?: 2

What phones are the best models to watch new films from?

The latest 4G technology has enabled us to do so much from the palm of our hand with our mobile phone handsets, and with the advent of Android Jelly Bean technology the Smartphone has never been smarter. Movies on the move are big news when it comes to choosing a new mobile handset and plays a huge part in the decision to buy more so than ever before. From a price point the consumer pays a premium for the latest big hitters but shop clever and take advice from the online retailers like Dial a Phone and you may be able to bag a bargain for streaming movies for less than you think. One option available to those inclined to watch films on their phone would be the iphone 5. It’s a spectacular phone with excellent features. Although you should never ignore the brand-power Apple have, and the quality of the iPhone, remember there are other options available.

Take two of the mobile giants Blackberry and HTC with their latest models the Blackberry ģZ10 and the HTC Oneô. As Blackberry tries to re-establish itself in the mobile marketplace the Z10 has put Research in Motion back on the map, with all the original business features we expect from RIM their newest model sparked great interest at itís launch with itís new design and touch screen features. The Z10ís 4.2inch screen size doesnít quite match up to itís sizeable competitors like the Samsung models but with a slim new design and full HD resolution screen and 1.5GHz Dual Core Snapdragon S4 Processor this handset is more than capable of streaming the latest movies with startling clarity.

All the previous functions like BBM and Blackberry App World are still available so choosing which film to watch should be the only major dilemma with this handset. Similarly another popular choice of handset for watching movies has proved to be the HTC One Smartphone which has really come in to its own recently with film buffs and gamers alike. With 32GB of memory and a 4.7inch full HD screen this Android 4.1 Jelly Bean technology with HTC Sense ô or a Graphical User Interface for those in the know is packed with features. With a unique HTC Boom Soundô the HTC One has front facing speakers enhancing the sound quality for movie watchers through built in amplifiers.

 

About Plexico Gingrich

Plexico likes to gamble. He writes for a boxing site which you can visit: here
Follow him on twitter: @ruthlessreviews