SORORITY LIFE


Has anybody else seen this shit? This show is horrible in so many ways I barely even know where to begin. The premise is thus: a reality show following a bunch of sorority pledges. On MTV. Yes, it is exactly as bad as that sounds.

It has become cliché to hate MTV. It is just so easy to make fun of the damn channel. It is as easy and pointless as making fun of Creed, but we are just going to have to keep doing that too until I can safely turn on the radio and go 5 minutes without hearing their horrible renditions of plain, boring rock. When they aren’t showing one of the seven music videos currently in rotation (at least half of them featuring that dumbass with a band-aid on his cheek; likely rapping/dueting with some hot-at-the-moment female singer), they are repeating some Real World or award show program yet again, or some self-congratulatory retrospective (sure you gave Adam Sandler his start on Remote Control? what have you done lately?!). [Ed Note: What? They should be shot] And now this- another in an apparently never ending line of annoying MTV reality shows.

During the last few years, with the rise of reality television, I was always surprised MTV never tried to take more credit, having spawned the genre with the Real World ten years ago. Maybe it wasn’t a fad they wanted to take credit for. Maybe they didn’t want to bring attention to their current crop of the Real World and Road Rules, as they had stopped becoming somewhat amusing guilty pleasures and became outright obnoxious and annoying. Then again, I can only reason obnoxious and annoying is what they were going for, because from where else would this show have spawned.

MTV exec: “Well, it appears that our viewer-ship has grown over the years as each cast has become less and less likeable. Also, look around at all those other shows beating us in the ratings. Is there one single person out there on one of those shows you don’t want to kill? I propose we go towards the opposite spectrum of likeability. Any suggestions?”

Employee #1, spilling her latte: “What a about a KKK reality show?”

MTV exec: “I’m Jewish you asshole. Don’t slam the door on the way out.

Employee #2: “Real World Post Office? No one likes them.”

MTV exec: “Naw, too many ex-military types to deal with. What else?”

Employee #3: “Um, I remember in college, everybody in the Greek system was pretty fucking annoying.”

MTV exec: “Genius! We can follow a sorority around. It will be a half hour of bitchiness a week! Sure to be a hit. Now let’s all go watch Carson suck some more cock.”

None of this has addressed the show itself yet, and rightfully so- I have tried to repress any ideas of what actually happened. Also, it is just what you would expect? except bitchier. Sorority pledge #1 won’t talk to drunk sorority girl cause she kissed her boyfriend. Which “she” and “her” and “pledge” and “girl” is who? It doesn’t matter! They are all equally annoying.

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