THE ABCs OF GUN CULTURE

 

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This is my rifle, this is my gun. This is for fighting, this is for fun.

Gun Culture in America

Ammosexuals The first time I saw this term was here, describing a stupid, but dangerous group of needle-dicked men (and women) whose paranoia at having a brown-skinned man in the White House has led to idiotic behavior. This behavior includes not only acting like complete tools, but dangerously hoarding ammo and assault rifles and strutting these extensions of their inadequate manhood in public. What looks like a bunch of Virgin Larpers is in reality a group of dangerous and heavily armed idiots that are somehow convinced that Obama is hell-bent on taking their precious weapons away. Instead of a bulging codpiece, these morons are carrying something that can kill you many times over. We begin the ABCs of Gun Culture.

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Bumper Stickers Proudly adorning the rusting bumpers of their pickup trucks,these chest beating proclamations include: If you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns or You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers. The worst one I’ve ever seen is from Rep. Steve Stockman, from Texas (where else!) that states If babies had guns, they wouldn’t be aborted. I give that one a 1.5 for originality and a 10.0 for stupidity. If there were only the bumper stickers I would not give a hoot, but you can bet a dollar to a donut that there is a weapon in that car or truck as well.

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Congress These people, who are supposed to be representing the interests of all U.S. citizens, and ensuring domestic tranquility, have been the recipient of over $81,000,000 in campaign contributions from the NRA since the 2000 elections. Of the 46 Senators who voted against any expansion of background checks, 43 received either direct campaign contributions or independent expenditures from the NRA. Until our elected representatives stop being sluts for the NRA, nothing will happen to stop the bloodshed.

Dead Every day in the USA 289 people are shot and 86 of them die. Between 2000 and 2010, there has been a staggering total of 335,609 deaths in this country from guns. This is more than the population of St. Louis, but the smug and bloodthirsty loons in the NRA still insist that there is not a problem. An even more horrific statistic is that 82 children under the age of 5 died from firearms in 2010 as compared with 58 law enforcement officers killed by firearms in the line of duty.

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Easier than an abortion And easier than buying Sudafed is purchasing a weapon online or at a gun show. We only have to look at the great State of Mississippi to verify this concept. No license or permit is required and there is no safety training prerequisite for buying or carrying a gun in this State. For an abortion in Mississippi there is a 24 hour waiting period and mandatory counseling. In Utah it is even worse as there is a 72 hour waiting period for an abortion and no waiting period for purchasing a gun.

Florida and Stand Your Ground In the running with Texas for being the craziest and most dangerous State in the nation with regards to gun violence, Florida has this absurd law that enables people like Zimmerman and Michael Dunn to shoot Black Men in cold blood for simply wearing a hoodie or playing their music too loud. Like Texas, Florida also has no shortage of other Idiots who bring assault rifles to family picnics and leave them lying around so that a 6-year old can just grab it and shoot his own grandfather. No, I cannot make this stuff up, things like this are becoming routine in this land of the free wheeling gun merchants of death.

GOA Gun Owners of America. This is another fringe hate group, based in Virginia, that plays on the ignorance and paranoia of Ammosexuals. They violently oppose any type of gun control legislation and have the predictable but audacious stance to blame the ammo shortage on Obama’s gun agenda, whatever that is supposed to be. The fact is, much to the glee of the NRA and munitions manufacturers, overly suspicious and racist gun owners have themselves caused the shortage by rushing to places like Wal-Mart and emptying the shelves in panic.

Home Protection One of the leading excuses to be armed and dangerous is the concept of home protection. The sobering fact is that those who have firearms in their homes will probably be shot because of the existence of weapons in their domicile. These same studies shows that those with firearms in their homes are 4.5 times more likely to be shot than those who do not, a staggering statistic. Think about it, you will unintentionally shoot a member of your own family or have the gun used against you instead of you protecting the homestead.

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If guns cause crime, then pencils cause misspelled words There are many variations of this fallacious analogy using matches/arson, etc. to try to justify the right of paranoid people to become heavily armed. It is correct that it does take a human being to pull the trigger, but this specious and spurious argument is simply not true. Many things cause crime, including social and economic issues, but to simply give the easy availability of firearms a pass is ridiculous. Easy access to guns facilitates crime just as easy access to matches by a small child facilitates the child playing with them and starting a fire. People who say Guns don’t kill people, people kill people should ask themselves why do we give soldiers guns?

Joe The Plumber A hero of the Republican Party and the NRA. His latest utterances of callous stupidity include Your dead kids dont trump my Constitutional rights, and Guns are mostly for hunting down politicians who would actively seek to take your freedoms and liberty away from you. Joe, just get fucked, you never have been and never will be relevant beyond the mouth-breathing Rednecks that see you as a role model.

Kalashnikov AK-47 Assault Rifle This is a selective-fire, gas operated assault rifle and was designed by Mikhail Kalashnikov. It was displayed for military trials in 1946. It is a weapon that is easy to use, and similar assault weapons can be purchased online. This was the weapon of choice for American lunatics who desire maximum carnage, but there are better, cheaper alternatives available now like the Bushmaster AR15. A simple Google search makes one of these just a few clicks away, but I’m not going to honor them with a link.

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LaPierre, Wayne This is the mentally ill and deeply disturbed Executive Vice President of the NRA. This spewer of hate, craziness, violence, paranoia and misinformation is worshiped by the leaders of the Republican party and it is no secret why. We need to have every school in America immediately deploy a protection system that works-and by that I mean armed security is one of his brainstorms, callously uttered right after the Sandy Hook tragedy. He has also stoked fear among his minions and is vigorously trying to neutralize the campaign of New York City Mayor Bloomberg, who announced a 50 million dollar campaign at trying to counter the influence of the NRA. Here is the full text of LaPierre’s speech.

More Guns In the whacky and insecure mind of the gun enthusiast, most dont even acknowledge that we have a problem with gun violence, in spite of the gruesome statistics that lead to another conclusion. With those that do, the solution to this problem is incredible in its irony, i.e. MORE GUNS! This makes about as much sense as more food as a treatment for obesity or encouraging those with multiple DUIs to drink more before they get into their automobiles. Claims that armed citizens have actually stopped mass shootings is debunked by Mother Jones.

NRA What else? The blood is on their hands. These bloodthirsty bastards have fought gun regulation and sane control of these instruments of death for decades. This organization initially was all about gun safety and training, but in the past few decades has become a political monstrosity, using its political clout to block any and all sane firearms legislation. In 1987 they mobilized to defeat the Brady Act, that was eventually passed, but with major concessions. The NRA spent 10 Million Dollars to try to defeat Barack Obama in the Presidential Election of 2008. The arrogance of their power is costing thousands of Americans their lives, but they just do not care. Any politician that dares to oppose them is punished severely as these armed and dangerous bullies are drunk with the blood of their victims. Five Million members strong, this organization continues to terrorize the American landscape and no one is willing to oppose them.

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Wayne LaPierre, NRA Maniac

Open Carry A right unexercised is a right lost is the mantra of the Open Carry nuts. Somehow these lunatics believe that the 2nd Amendment of the Constitution of the United States gives them the right to terrorize our citizens who are just trying to eat a peaceful dinner. Below is a picture of a cow who has to be a candidate for Mother of the Year. No, that is not just one big fat baby, she is putting twins at risk with her stupidity. There are currently 11 states that allow Open Carry with NO RESTRICTIONS. These wonderful States are Alaska, Montana, Idaho, Wyoming, Nevada, Arizona, New Mexico, South Dakota, Vermont, Kentucky, and Virginia. The news recently has had no shortage of gun-crazed Americans proudly walking into places of business being heavily armed. They are ALL White, trust me.

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Politics as usual This is where the problem is and it is a huge problem. Forget about the Republicans, they want to re-institute Slavery and repeal the 19th Amendment, so they are not about to budge an inch on something like Gun Control. It is going to take a massive effort of voters who get sick and tired enough of the bloodshed to vote in some politicians with some courage.The SCOTUS set campaign reform back with their recent 5-4 decision, but something has to be done to stop the bleeding.

Quid Pro Quo This for that. Want your precious guns and assault rifles? Do you love your freedom and your right to bear arms? O.K., Ill give you that and you can have them, but under a few conditions. The 2nd Amendment mentions something about regulation, so lets regulate you and your instruments of death. Everything except for the family shotgun has to be registered, and guess what else? We are going to add in some personal responsibility, too. Oh, and the registration will have a hefty fee, with part of the proceeds going into a victims fund for people whose lives are wrecked by your precious firearms. The personal responsibility will come in the form of liability insurance, a personal liability policy, lets say at least a MILLION DOLLARS. I have a policy like this and its not that expensive, so deal with it. Also, if a gun of yours is lost, sold or stolen (its registered, remember?) you are going to be held personally responsible for any felonies committed with your precious penile extension. Don’t like it? Tough shit, Ill do everything in my power to support legislation that makes this a reality. Most Americans are sick and tired of the Wild Wild West mentality of Rednecks and other miscreants.

Regulated Militia and the 2nd Amendment

A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.

This is what all of the controversy is about and the vague language does not help any either. Emboldened by the SCOTUS decision of District of Columbia v. Heller, gun proponents have taken this as a carte blanche to trot out their weapons anywhere, anytime and with impunity. I know, I know, some of you think I’m a hypocrite because I am a staunch supporter of the 1st Amendment, so having to allow despicable things like the antics of Westboro Baptist Church is allowed in the name of freedom for us all to speak out. Yes, people have the right to bear arms, but our Government also has the legal and moral responsibility to protect domestic tranquility and to protect our LIFE, liberty and pursuit of happiness and it is pretty hard to be happy with these yokels running around like mentally deficient Rambos, proudly displaying their toys. If you want to act like a militia, then lets regulate you. Its in the Constitution.

Sandy Hook Shootings Using an arsenal of weapons, including a Bushmaster Model XM15-E2S semiautomatic rifle, Adam Lanza murdered his mother and then went on to slaughter 20 children and 6 adults at an Elementary School. Yes, this guy was a mentally ill psychopath, but the easy access to assault weapons helps facilitate massacres like this one. Even after these horrific tragedies, Congress is still taking their payoffs and nothing has been done except for a bunch of bottom-feeding trolls who have developed outrageous conspiracy theories about the incident, saying that it was either staged by the Government or that it NEVER HAPPENED. Sometimes…just fuck this country.

Texas Texas leads the nation in many things, and not many of these things are humane or logical. As far as executions go, no one can compare to Texas’s thirst for retribution and they are not too particular about how much the executed suffer. The Lonestar state also leads the nation in the highest number of people working for minimum wage or less and for the number of its residents that don’t have health insurance, about 25%. Texas also leads the nation in being the least compliant to national environmental requirements and, but to their credit, they are dead last in voter participation. I don’t have any source for this, but I’m declaring Texas as the winner for having the most stupid Redneck Tools wandering around proudly with assault rifles strapped to their backs. The latest outrage was at The Home Depot in North Richmond Hills, a suburb of Dallas. Oh, the Poof on the left is a Politician, Kory Watkins. Ron Mexico mentioned this dipshit in his rant.

 

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In The Home Depot

UziAn Uzi? I’m not from South Central fucking Los Angeles. I didn’t come here to shoot twenty Black 10 year old’s in a drive-by. I want a normal gun for a normal person. Even the bad guys in In Bruges knew that there is no need for an assault rifle.

Virginia Home of the crazy and dangerous Gun Owners of America hate group, Virginia has the distinction of the machine gun capitol of the WORLD. As of March of 2012, there were 30,220 registered machine guns in that State. How can this happen? The key word is registered as these things are legal and smiled on in the good old State of Virginia. It gets worse as this insanity extends way beyond the Old Dominion State. In the United States there are over one half a MILLION registered machine guns! Yeah, we need more guns. If Obama is taking away the guns, then he is doing a pretty miserable job of it.

When will it end? That is what someone like Richard Martinez wants to know as he joins the ranks of parents, widows and widowers who have had loved ones wrenched away from them in a hail of bullets. The NRA may have their hands full with this guy as he is well-spoken, passionate and an attorney, and gives no indication of being intimidated by the NRA and their paid whores, Congress. I’m going to be monitoring this guy as he seems to have the conviction and stones to try to do something about what is exponentially more than a bloody National disgrace.

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XBox That’s right, the 15 year old pimple factory playing games on his XBox in the basement is the blame for gun violence. The NRA in its continuing craziness and irresponsibility has been blaming video games as part of the cause for carnage like Sandy Hook. Just the mere hypocrisy of this is mind melting as this evil organization will do anything, pay off anybody and say anything to try to avoid their culpability in the ever-increasing gun violence in this country. It doesn’t matter that there is a body of scientific research that shows that there is no causal relationship between video or media violence and real life violence. In lockstep with the Tea Party, facts dont matter, only ideology.

Yes We Can I don’t know how, but something has to be done about the carnage that is uniquely American. I know this sounds trite and impotent, but this senseless violence, sanctioned by the American Government, must end. Other civilized countries have passed strict laws regarding gun ownership and their gun deaths are only a tiny fraction of what they are in the USA. It is just like the insane and stubborn resistance to health care, an attitude that makes America look like a laughingstock to the rest of the world.

Zimmerman, George The NRAs poster hero for murder of young Black men. A lot of ink has been spilled on this story, so I wont dwell on it. Stand Your Ground is apparently just a license to kill if you are easily annoyed.

For other great ABC rants click here!

 

 

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Goat is Retired. He does come out occasionally to help Erich and to write Christmas Reviews.