UglyDolls

Film Title

UglyDolls

Synopsis

Flawed dolls just want to be loved.

Director

Kelly Asbury

Cast

Kelly Clarkson
Pitbull
Nick Jonas
Blake Shelton
Wanda Sykes
Gabriel Iglesias
Emma Roberts
Leehom Wang

Fugley.

What movie did we see last night?
Uglydolls.

Why was it called UglyDolls?
Cuz Fuglers are ugly.

What is a Fugler?
Funny. Ugly. Cute.

And how do you know about fuglers?
BECAUSE I’VE SEEN THEM!!! They’re basically stuffed animals.

Do fugler toys talk like in the movie?
Uh, no, but they can make friends. They’re not animatronics or anything, but they can just make friends. But they have button eyes.

Oh, kind of like in the movie – they use their button eyes? For money?
[laughs creepily] Yessssss.

So, what happens in the movie?
So they go to the big world and then they watch this concert that Lou sings.

UglyDolls
I no longer wonder what is in the light at the end of the tunnel.

Who’s Lou?
The boss of the big world.

At one point, I went out to get you an Icee; what happened while I was gone? I came back, and they were at the School of Perfection.
[laughs victoriously] AHA!

So, Lou sings a concert to the dolls.
AND the people.

So, what else happens?
The dolls get recycled and escape.

Which ones?
The ugly ones.

Where do they end up going after they escape?
Umm…I kind of forgot about that. But they ended up going…somewhere. Down the pipe.

To Uglyville, right? All the ugly dolls live in Uglyville.
[creepy laugh]

Who is the one who wants to leave? She wanted to leave…?
She?

Did you even WATCH the movie?
[doofus laugh]

UglyDolls
The town is anything but ugly.

So, a group of the ugly dolls went to the school of perfection in the big world. In order to pass the test, they had to do what?
To not get messy.

What else?
To not go in the washing machine.

Was that their punishment if they got messy?
[giggles] Yeah. They went in several times.

What kind of doll was Lou? Was he ugly too?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

What was he?
He was…a singer. A singer doll. [starts singing nonsense]

Okay…so what did you like about the movie?
[sings] The giant BABY!

What did the giant baby do?
He throws characters when he wants them to escape. And then at the end, they pick him up. And goes like this [flaps arms], like a baby does. And they had a race.

Oh, a race? What happens if they win the race? Is that how they go to the big world.
Maybe.

What did you think about the music? Did you like the songs?
THUMBS UP! …Kelly Clarkson.

Oh, Kelly Clarkson was singing?
Yeah. The pink one. Moxie.

Did she have any friends? Do you remember their names?
Lucky Bat. …and nothing else.

UglyDolls
She had more than one friend.

What about Ugly Dog?
OHHHHHH!

Did you know the actor who did the voice of Ugly Dog is named Pitbull? Also like a dog?
Pitbull? I don’t know him.

Do you like how the movie looked? The yarn and buttons? Or do you like the kind like Lego movie animation?
[ponders] I like the Lego Movie TWO better than UglyDolls.

Do you know what the moral of the story means? Do you know what message the movie was trying to tell kids and adults? That it’s ok not to be perfect?
[nods]

Do you remember anything else?
[shakes head]

No? Maybe they just didn’t do a very good job teaching the message?
No. they didn’t.

Is there any last thing you want to tell people? Would you tell people to go see UglyDolls?
[ponders] Yeah, Evan. He has a Fugler.

So you would tell people who HAVE ugly dolls to go see UglyDolls?
[nods]

Rating:
What’s a better way to spend money – to SEE UglyDolls, or to BUY a fugler?
[thinks hard] To buy a Fugler!

About Kevin

Kevin is a cyber security engineer who somehow managed to become a bonafide movie critic - joining the Denver Film Critic Society in 2016 - despite being that guy that screening reps are afraid to ask "so, what'd you think of the movie?" Oh, he'll tell you alright, but it might take thousands of words to do it.