Jessica Jammer: One of the few porn stars to use her real name.
Violate Every Hole stays true to its name – if there was a gopher tunnel being dug or an appendectomy being performed during the filming of this video, you can safely assume that the resulting orifices were filled with a cock at some point.
Scene 1 begins with the beautiful Jamie Elle being groped enthusiastically while bound to the front door. Now, with all due respect to the filmmakers, everyone knows that when tying up a naked girl, it is imperative that you bind both the hands AND feet. You don’t want your guest turning the doorknob with her toes and escaping back home to her family after you’ve already made three trips to the post office for finger-mailing purposes. That said, I quite enjoyed watching Jamie get fucked in the ass. Facial fans will be disappointed to find Miss Elle’s visage tadpole-free, but she does earn an 8.5 for style as she leans back and converts her anus into a gaping jizzcannon. Seeing as how Jamie’s turdcutter appears to have taken more hits than Mohammad Ali, this part of the scene tends to give one the impression that he is staring down the throat of a decapitated bull.
In Scene 2, Jessica Jammer is led around the living room on a dog leash, which I found to be extremely degrading and offensive as the proud owner of a German Shepard. Jessica gobbles down two cocks like a shark after ten bong hits and then bends over to perform an Eiffel Tower (Why do they call it an Eiffel Tower? Last I heard, this particular landmark did not have a penis in its mouth and vagina at the same time). This scene made me remember how funny it is when a guy in porn goes in for the kiss and gets rejected. It’s like, “Hey, hey, I know I have a dick in my ass and my pussy simultaneously, but what do you think I am, some kind of slut?!” The scene rightfully concludes with Jessica’s face taking more bombs than Pearl Harbor (too soon?).
Helen Keller fetishists will be pleased to see the sultry Saana rocking a blindfold at the beginning of Scene 3, although it is soon removed so that she is better able to detect cock. Saana was made for this job; the way I see it, any girl with the word “Angel” tattooed on her stomach has no more pristine an ass than someone who gets their medical checkups from ET. Saana gets perforated by penis in every way imaginable and ends the scene by showing us that she won’t be having any protein deficiencies anytime soon.
Scene 4: Mia Bangg seems to have fallen into some radioactive waste and gained the superpower of having a throat of steel. Mia devours dick like a pro while drooling more than a retarded bulldog in a steakhouse. Mia is really worked over in this scene; when the double penetration is all said and done, an entire day care center could use her taint as a trampoline. Miss Bangg’s superior work ethic is reflected in the texture of her pissflaps, which reminds me – Arby’s is about to close soon.
Scene 5: Naudia Nice kicks off this scene with the excited proclamation of “I’m ready to get my asshole violated!” which is what any girl is really saying when she says “Would you like to come up for coffee?” or “The judge said you weren’t allowed to call me anymore.” Hey, I just noticed that “Naudia Nice” is an oxymoron! That’s where two opposites are put together in a single phrase, like “beautiful disaster” or “creative porn actress”. Naudia really knows how to move while being invaded on both fronts – if I didn’t know any better, I’d say this wasn’t the first time she’s had sexual intercourse. In other news, the one guy’s dick and balls are a weird bluish color, although it may be a sign that you’ve reviewed too much porn when you start critiquing the phallic appearances of the male actors. Overall, Naudia puts forth a spirited performance that never slows down. Remind me to send her uncle a thank-you card.
Violate Every Hole earns a solid four out of five cantaloupes with holes cut in them. Hopefully by the time the next few installments of this series are released, genetic engineering will have provided us with more holes which may be violated.
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