This is totally insane, and probably nothing like any movie-review you ever read, or are ever going to read, but here goes. If my name was Morbius, I probably too would drink human blood. With that sort of name, I’d might as well call myself Dracula and move into a castle in Transylvania. I hear they go for nice prices these days, so…
I love vampire movies and the concept of vampires. They are powerful and mystical creatures of the night, not living but not quite dead either, and ever since the genius of Bram Stoker I have pretty much been fascinated with this type of movie.
One of my first, best and fondest memories of these movies is watching Francis Ford Coppola’s brilliantly made and aptly titled Bram Stokers Dracula. It starred Gary Oldman, Wynona Ryder and Keanu Reeves. When I saw it, I was with a girl named Lynn, a long-haired redhead skinny sexy lovely person that I would have liked to have kissed, that magical evening, but alas, I was fascinated with more sinister things.
Now, after all these turbulent and sometimes very troubling years, we are here. As we near the technological singularity at warp speed, we are still making awesome vampire-movies. In 2022, yes, we have Morbius.
Morbius is about a biochemist who has some sort of rare blood disorder. In an effort to cure himself, he of course makes things worse and turns himself into a full-fledged vampire. Just a moment, please. I just need to smoke something, drink some more, think about all this again, and then I will come back to you. Probably.
Oh, so you are still here? Thank you for that.
Also, have you seen He Never Died, with Henry Rollins? If not, you are really going to need to see that movie, preferably right now. And be sure to drink and smoke lots, beforehand, and have a 40-year history of sleep deprivation, drug-abuse and general insanity.
I smell baked potatoes, but it may be something else, I don’t know. The Cult’s She Sells Sanctuary is playing and I fucking love this song. Oh yeah, Morbius. It is a good movie in spite of the other reviews. I didn’t know about the superhero called Morbius beforehand, but I saw teaser-trailers and since I’m a fan of all MCU-creations since they began there, so what should I call it? Epic is such a misused word as of late, so I’m hesitant to use it here. If that is still comprehensible English…
Yeah, good. Jared Leto is a damn fine actor and Marvel-budgets ensure fine special effects, so it all looks really slick. I liked the transformation from that leech-like ‘friend’ of Morbius, how he morphed from crush-wielding loser to this totally creepy… well, bloodsucker.
If you have some moments to spare in your precious little lifetime, and you like vampire movies, go see this one. You will be amused, I promise.