RUTHLESS NFL PICK-OFF: WEEK ELEVEN

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Atlanta @ NY Giants -6.5

Tony: Goddammit, Falcons. The Giants are REELING and pretty much all of your skill players have career-ending hangnails. Despite the Falcons’ recent woes, however, I am still picking them to cover and win and here is why: The Giants started 5-0 and everyone was like, “Hurrrr,” but 4 of their first 5 wins came against Washington, Tampa Bay, Oakland, and Kansas City, which is to say, in a normal season, the Giants’ record would look more like 2-7 than 5-4. Also, the Giants’ margin of loss against New Orleans was 13 points higher than Atlanta’s. So there’s that. Falcons.

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Dick: Normally, with the Giants at home in November and the Falcons’ terrible road woes, I’d figure Atlanta would be toast. But since the weather will be a balmy 54 degrees and the Giants defense was terribly inconsistent before Antonio Pierce went down, I’ll say Michael Turner does his best impression of Earl Campbell. The Giants may win, but by no more than three.

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Sax: Fuck the Giants.

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Indianapolis @ Baltimore +1

Tony: As much as I like to discount Baltimore, they did win at San Diego, and they almost beat the Favres also on the road. Indy’s 9-0 record looks good, but this is exactly the type of week where a team like Indy earns one of their few blemishes of the year. The question is whether I have the sack to actually pick against the Colts especially against a supposedly mediocre team like the Ravens. The answer is I do not. Colts.

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Dick: Indy won last week because Bill Belichick is just wrong. They will win this week because Baltimore cannot stop the pass and unless Peyton Manning breaks his legs, he’ll hang 30 points on the board. Baltimore’s also missing Lee Suggs because Brady Quinn doesn’t know how to block. This could get ugly fast.

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Sax: I think it’s time for me to admit that I have overrated the Ravens all season. There are a lot of reasons to pick Baltimore, they have lost some close games and they are tough at home and they basically beat the Patriots when they rolled into the Murdaland with an undefeated record 2 years ago, which I will keep bringing up even though it has absolutely no relevance whatsoever when it comes to this current season. Jesus, I suck. Maybe if the spread was higher. On the other hand, I just looked at Indy’s schedule, and this is really the biggest game left for them unless you count the Broncos as a threat, which I do not. Do I really think Indy can go undefeated? No. I’m picking the Ravens, even if that is pretty flimsy logic, by which I mean completely non-existent logic. Holy shit, I hate this.

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San Fran @ Green Bay -6.5

Tony: Sax, why do we pick a game with either San Fran or Green Bay every single week? Aside from the fact that no one likes either team, neither team is any good. Get it together. Anyhoozle, I have a hunch that San Fran breaks off a huge one this week. I get the feeling that the Smith-Gore-Crabtree monster is on the verge of gelling, and, even if the offense has only an adequate performance, their defense has been solid lately. 49ers.

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Dick: I don’t have a lot of confidence in either of these teams because the Packers let Aaron Rodgers get sacked eight times a game and the Niners still look more like a rugby team than a football team. However, both teams have solid defenses and if Green Bay can keep Rodgers upright, they get the edge. Pack wins, but not by seven.

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Sax: Tony’s right, this game is lame, but it seemed like the biggest one left on the schedule. I guess we could have gone Bears/Eagles, but I am fucking sick of the Bears. If there’s one thing you can rely upon with Green Bay, it is a complete and utter lack of consistency, and 6.5 points is a big fucking spread. If San Fran doesn’t win, their season is over. I like the Niners and the points.

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San Diego @ Denver +3

Tony: ZOMG, Denver has lost three games in a row! San Diego is SURGING! Really, the main thing that concerns me about this game is that Tom Green Dave Grohl Orton, arguably the greatest quarterback in the league, appears to have injured his ankle and will likely be replaced by, uh, Chris Simms? Yeah, this might not go so well. Donkeys.

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Dick: Denver’s defense is still solid, but their propensity to pull out miracle plays a-la the computer on All Madden has suddenly disappeared along with Kyle Orton’s health. San Diego’s hot, LT is back from the dead, and Phil Rivers is imbued with the spirit of Christ.

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Sax: The Broncos are done. I’m sorry, Tony. You see this? All this shit? It’s not your fault. Look at me, son. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.

robin

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Standings

1. Tony (21-19) (0-4 last week)

2. Dick (18-22) (3-1 last week)

3. Sax (16-24) (2-2 last week)

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