So the Seattle Seahawks, all hyped up on illegal muscle drugs, are favored by 4.5 points here. How many of their players have to be suspended before we can rename the “Legion of Boom” to the “The Boys on Roids?”

NFL Holiday Picksgiving Pickstravaganza

.For years, a favorite holiday ritual of millions of Americans has been to gorge on turkey and watch a succession of awful Lions teams get beaten like a rented mule on Thanksgiving.

NFL Picks: Japanesey Edition

Not to mention, I don’t have any money to bet on football after spending my life savings on Pachinko while in Japan and now owing millions of yen to Yakuza loan sharks.

NFL Picks: Obamacare Edition

Yawn. An undrafted backup versus a potato-headed QB with fetal alcohol syndrome.

NFL Picks: Rob Ford and Richie Incognito Psychopathy Bonanza Edition

I demand a mulligan for my Buffalo pick last week. I made it before I knew it would once again be Tuel Time. But, you know what, even with Jeff the Tuel Man Tuel…

NFL Picks Week 9

The new Browns versus the old Browns. The Drew Carey Show versus The Wire. The Ratbirds of Bodymore face the Cleveland Team That’s Literally Just a Color…

NFL Picks: Week 8

I’m making this is my Rex Ryan Commemorative “Shoe-In of the Week.”

Week 7 NFL Picks

HOLY FUCK. Did you guys hear that Peyton Manning used to play for the Colts until recently? I’ve watched football for some time and was completely unaware of that fact until the media reminded me of it in the lead-up to this game

Our Week 6 NFL Unobtainium Pipe Locks

A lonely game hunter staking out the scenic hills of Northern Virginia came upon an ostrich. Having never seen such a magnificent, flightless beast, he soon felt a stirring in his loins. The product of this unholy union is named Mike Glennon

The Ruthless NFL Pick-Off is back!

New NFL picks from new NFL pickers. Featuring the outside information that Las Vegas bookmakers do want you to know about.