Around the forty-minute mark of Die Hard 2, John McClane realizes he’s dealing with another bunch of hi-tech, well-organized terrorists. “Oh, man,” he mutters to himself. “I can’t fucking believe this… How could the same shit happen to the same guy twice?” Yeah, dude, you nailed it. For herein lies the problem with most sequels: […]
Boogie Nights: Much Better Than Not Quite
January 5, 2023 by
Film Title
Boogie NightsSynopsis
A teenager with little formal education and a horse-like cock decides to play to his strengths. Or as he puts it: “Everybody’s given one special thing, right?”
Director
Paul Thomas AndersonCast
Mark Wahlberg
Burt Reynolds
Julianne Moore
Don Cheadle
John C. Reilly
Heather Graham
William H. Macy
Phillip Seymour Hoffman
Alfred Molina
Do you watch porn? C’mon, you can tell me. Maybe you’re one of those guys who wakes up and immediately staggers bleary-eyed across the bedroom to flip up a laptop lid, a short journey made hazardous by the combination of throbbing boner and ankle-pooled pajama bottoms that necessitate arms thrown out to the side while […]
Nasty Fuckers: Part 2
January 1, 2023 by
Brad Whitewood Sr. reveals his true colors in At Close Range (1986) It takes more than an hour of this very nicely photographed neo-noir crime pic for Brad Sr. (Christopher Walken) to show he’s a nasty fucker. Up until then, he’s merely a thief, the leader of a tightly knit bunch of rural crims that […]
Nasty Fuckers: Part One
December 30, 2022 by
Heroes are OK but when it comes to memorability, villains tend to piss all over ’em. This glaring divergence has long plagued creators and can be traced back at least as far as Shakespeare. Take The Merchant of Venice. Shylock’s vengeful demand for a pound of flesh ensures his status as an all-time bad guy, […]
The Not Quite #6: The King of Comedy (1982)
December 26, 2022 by
Film Title
It's No Laughing MatterSynopsis
A comic failure stalks and kidnaps his idol
Director
Martin ScorseseCast
Robert De Niro
Jerry Lewis
Sandra Bernhard
Diahnne Abbott
Shelley Hack
Scorsese’s cinematic partnership with De Niro is among the most legendary of the twentieth century, hemorrhaging up blood-soaked classics like Taxi Driver and Goodfellas. It wasn’t all plain slaying, though. Just take a look at the headache-inducing musical New York, New York in which De Niro argues nonstop with Liza Minnelli. Then there’s the redundant, […]
The Teacher Typos: Part 4
December 22, 2022 by
The corrupt: Jim McAllister in Election (1999) The perfect companion piece to the iconic Ferris Bueller. Here we get to see Broderick play a character at the opposite end of the spectrum. Bueller was an exuberant livewire beating the system but the vanilla, sensibly dressed McAllister in his nerdy car is the loser that always […]
The Teacher Typos: Part 3
December 19, 2022 by
The wrongly accused: Lucas in The Hunt aka Jagten (2012) Back in the 90s I covered a newspaper story in which a run of the mill, middle-aged sex offender was having a bit of a tough time. He’d been sent to clink for touching up some residents at a women’s shelter. In his favor, the […]
The Teacher Typos: Part 2
December 16, 2022 by
The inspirational: LouAnne Johnson in Dangerous Minds (1995), Mark Thackeray in To Sir, with Love (1967) and John Keating in Dead Poets Society (1989) It’s time to say hi to our latest graduate from the Kelly McGillis Top Gun School of Absurd Roles. Meet the willowy, effortlessly elegant Michelle Pfeiffer (along with her dazzling smile […]
The Teacher Typos: Part One
December 15, 2022 by
We’ve all had teachers. And I don’t mean in the sexual sense. Good, bad, boring, angry and spaced out, teachers tend to stick in the mind. I remember one guy in junior school who routinely flew off the handle, leaving me scared to attend class. He once reduced me to tears by shouting in my […]
The Not Quite #5: The Devils (1971)
December 14, 2022 by
Film Title
The DevilsSynopsis
A free-thinking, sexually active priest is accused of witchcraft
Director
Ken RussellCast
Oliver Reed
Vanessa Redgrave
Dudley Sutton
Christopher Logue
Gemma Jones
I love shit about repressed female sexuality. Take nuns. They’re a bunch of wretched, feeble-minded cowards, women who cling to a fantasy deity and starve themselves of Earthly pleasures because they’re ashamed of their pussy. Now The Devils may well appear to be about religion and politics in 17th century France, but it’s more to […]
