BlacKkKlansman (2018)

Film Title

BlacKkKlansman (2018)

Synopsis

Oh, Brother, Where Art Thou?

Director

Spike Lee

Cast

Alec Baldwin
Adam Driver
John David Washington
Laura Harrier
Harry Belafonte

2 hours 15 minutes, Rated R for bombings and lynchings. Fair Value of BlacKkKlansman (2018): $12.00. Its the first film I’ve seen this summer worthy of a Best Picture nomination. Invisible Empire: Racism is the central ideology of the American Empire. I know you’re going to throw democracy and liberty in my face- but that’s […]

Mission Impossible Six: Fallout

Film Title

Mission Impossible Six: Fallout

Synopsis

Bad guys have stolen a nuke, blah blah blah. Want to destroy civilization, blah blah. Your mission, blee blo. Rag-tag team of misfits, scoodily poopy rum tum tum.



Cast

Tom Cruise as Ethan Hunt, Super-Generic
Henry Cavill as American Dad
Rebecca Ferguson as Black Widow
Ving Rhames as Wise and Experience Black Man
Simon Pegg as comic relief
Angela Bassett as sinister CIA red herring
Sean Harris as The Unabomber.
Vanessa Kirby as Misplaced Bond Girl.

Mission Impossible Six: Fallout 2 hours 27 minutes, PG-13 for boiling coolant to the face. Fair Value of This Film: $3.00. Some good stunt work, but nothing really sets this film apart from the franchise. As generic as a Honda Accord. I saw this film twenty minutes ago and I’m already starting to forget it. […]

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Film Title

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Synopsis

This time we light the bird’s ancestors on fire

Director

J.A. Bayona

Cast

Chris Pratt
Bryce Dallas Howard
Rafe Spall
James Cromwell
Ted Levine
Justice Smith
Daniella Pineda
Toby Jones
Jeff Goldblum
BD Wong
Isabella Sermon

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is 2 hrs 8 minutes, PG-13 for maiming and people get used as chew toys Basic Concept: Jurassic Park, except this time we light the dinosaurs on fire. What? There’s a volcano erupting on the Jurassic Park island, and so, you have a lot of stampeding dinosaurs that may also be […]

Incredibles 2

Film Title

Incredibles 2

Synopsis

Mr. Incredible babysits while Elastigirl saves the world

Director

Brad Bird

Cast

Samuel L. Jackson
Holly Hunter
Craig T. Nelson
Sarah Vowell
Bob Odenkirk
Catherine Keener

1 Hour 34 Minutes, G Special Warning: Incredibles 2 has scenes with bright high-intensity flashing patterns that may induce epileptic episodes. Also, this film is chock full of subliminal messages (courtesy of the villain)- if you believe in the effect of subliminals, this is a film to avoid. Fair Value Rating of The Incredibles 2: […]

Hotel Artemis

Film Title

Hotel Artemis

Synopsis

A nurse runs a secret, members-only E. R. for criminals.

Director

Drew Pearce

Cast

Jodie Foster
Sterling K. Brown
Sofia Boutella
Jeff Goldblum
Dave Bautista
Zachary Quinto

Hotel Artemis is likely to be one of the obscure gems of the summer of 2018. Its a wonderful peanut-butter and chocolate combination of genres: cyberpunk and the Grand Hotel genre. Hotel Artemis is a well acted ensemble piece, nimbly juggling multiple sub-plots and capers, making the most of an enclosed and limited set. Give […]

Deadpool 2

Film Title

Deadpool 2

Synopsis

Yes, Josh Brolin is the Bad Guy in this movie.

Director

David Leitch

Cast

Ryan Reynolds
Josh Brolin
Morena Baccarin
Julian Dennison
Zazie Beetz
T. J. Miller

Is this film worth my time?Deadpool 2 is middle level lowbrow action comedy for middle-schoolers and muddled stoners alike.If you’re cool spending your time with 3rd– rate live action South Park, who am I to judge? Check your brain at the door. 1 Hour 59 Minutes, R for graphic dismemberment, sodomy, tiny genitalia Fair Value […]

The 15:17 to Paris

Film Title

The 15:17 to Paris

Synopsis

Bros discover a terrorist plot on the way to Paris

Director

Clint Eastwood

Cast

Ray Corasani
Alek Skarlotas
Anthony Sadler
Spencer Stone
Judy Greer

The 15:17 to Paris 1 Hour 34 Minutes, PG-13 for gun and knife violence. Fair Value Rating of The 15:17 to Paris: $2.00. Its a solid punt as a Redbox rental, an excellent compromise choice if you’re watching a film with family or people you don’t know well. Impeccable but unessential, pleasing but forgettable. Is […]

Downsizing

Film Title

Downsizing

Synopsis

Honey, I shrank the movie.

Director

Alexander Payne

Cast

Matt Damon
Christoph Waltz
Hong Chau
Kristen Wiig
Rolf Lassgard
Udo Kier
Ingjerd Egeberg

Downsizing 2 hrs 15 minutes, R for Naked Dudes on Slabs Fair Value of Downsizing? $5.00. Worth a rental, a Redbox. As fun and clever a modernization of Jonathan Swift as can be hoped for. Who is this film perfect for? Alexander Payne’s (Sideways, Election) latest comedy is abundant on whimsy but short on jokes. […]

Coco (2017)

Film Title

Coco (2017)

Synopsis

A California Gringo looks at The Night of the Living Dead

Director

Lee Unkrich, Adrian Molina

Cast

Anthony Gonzalez
Gael Garcia Bernal
Benjamin Bratt
Alanna Ubach
Renee Victor
Jaime Camil
Gabriel Iglesias

Fair Value of Coco (2017): $7.00. Purely upon its own merits, and viewed in a void, I’d say this is a $20.00 film. But I’m cutting my score by half for the context of appropriation without accreditation, and another deduction for the subtext of the film. This is a film that I liked the more […]

Loving Vincent

Film Title

Loving Vincent

Synopsis

A beautiful story on oil painted animation

Director

Dorota Kobiela, Hugh Welchman

Cast

Douglass Booth
Josh Burdett
Holly Earl
Robin Hodges
John Sessions
Aidan Turner

Loving Vincent 1 hr 34 minutes, PG-13 for mutilation and suicide. Fair Value of Loving Vincent: $5.00. Its a good art house film, and works as an adequate primer for somebody who knows nothing of post-impressionism. A good movie for your suburban relatives and in-laws. Patron Saint of the Starving Artists: There are a number […]