1 Hour 35 minutes, Rated R for Bear Cubs eating Ray Liotta’s intestines. I am wasted on Cocaine Bear, and Cocaine Bear is wasted on me. It’s like asking a Michelin chef to prepare you a Whopper with cheese. There’s only one criteria for watching this film: Do you want to see a CGI bear […]

2 hrs 10 minutes, Rated R for face ripping and misadventures with barb wire. Fair Value of Jordan Peele’s Nope: $16.00. This is a smart reinvention of the flying saucer movie that is mildly scary but well paced and entertaining, with enough commentary as to reward a second watching. The lonely valleys of the Southwest: […]

1 hour 45 minutes, Rated R for autopsies, surgeries, weird groping of internal organs Fair Value of Crimes of the Future: $8.00. It sounds strange to call this the most essential and the most inessential of David Cronenberg’s films, but here goes it is the best Cronenburg primer, the best introduction to ‘here are the […]

2 Hours 2 minutes, R for maiming stabbing and shooting Fair Value of 3:10 to Yuma: $14.00 : For the most part (Kate and Leopold the glaring exception), I’ve enjoyed almost everything that director James Mangold has made. This is a grim, desperate, suspenseful and deeply rewatchable western. TL,DR: Desperate rancher Dan Evans (Christian Bale) […]

2 Hours 30 Minutes, R for Face-Smashing and Eating Live Poultry Fair Value of Nightmare Alley: $18.00. This remake stands tall and proud as the equal of the original 1947 noir classic, yet is still distinct and memorable in wholly different ways. What in this world is so depraved and terrible as the Geek? That […]

1 Hr 56 minutes, R for abundant stabbings and slashings. Fair Value of Last Night in Soho: $15.00. While not a game changer for the ghost mystery genre, it’s a ripping good film with an abundance of Edgar Wright’s signature style. TL, DR: Fashion design student finds a cheap flat (due to being haunted) and […]

 Dune (2021 Denis Villeneuve Version) 2 hours 35 minutes, PG-13 for stabbings, maiming and a nude Oscar Isaac Fair Value of Dune: $20. This is a space opera done right. Not Villeneuve’s greatest film (that’s either Sicario or Blade Runner 2049), but this is the most coherent and comprehensible adaptation of the Frank Herbert epic. […]

1 Hr 37 minutes, R for hands getting chewed off. Fair Value of Werewolves Within: -$4.00. “I feel like I’m trapped in a bad dinner theater murder mystery, and they’re not letting me leave.”- this quote, uttered by one of the characters, completely embodies the experience of this film. From the Uwe Boll School of […]

1 Hr 56 minutes, rated R for Giallo levels of gore WARNING: This film isn’t quite as hard core as a Fulci film, but it does definitely go there, both in terms of gore, ugly mutilation, and decomposition. If you can’t stand maggots you may very well want to skip that particular Argento film. Fair […]