Hotel Artemis

Film Title

Hotel Artemis

Synopsis

A nurse runs a secret, members-only E. R. for criminals.

Director

Drew Pearce

Cast

Jodie Foster
Sterling K. Brown
Sofia Boutella
Jeff Goldblum
Dave Bautista
Zachary Quinto

Hotel Artemis is likely to be one of the obscure gems of the summer of 2018. Its a wonderful peanut-butter and chocolate combination of genres: cyberpunk and the Grand Hotel genre. Hotel Artemis is a well acted ensemble piece, nimbly juggling multiple sub-plots and capers, making the most of an enclosed and limited set. Give […]

Deadpool 2

Film Title

Deadpool 2

Synopsis

Yes, Josh Brolin is the Bad Guy in this movie.

Director

David Leitch

Cast

Ryan Reynolds
Josh Brolin
Morena Baccarin
Julian Dennison
Zazie Beetz
T. J. Miller

Is this film worth my time?Deadpool 2 is middle level lowbrow action comedy for middle-schoolers and muddled stoners alike.If you’re cool spending your time with 3rd– rate live action South Park, who am I to judge? Check your brain at the door. 1 Hour 59 Minutes, R for graphic dismemberment, sodomy, tiny genitalia Fair Value […]

The 15:17 to Paris

Film Title

The 15:17 to Paris

Synopsis

Bros discover a terrorist plot on the way to Paris

Director

Clint Eastwood

Cast

Ray Corasani
Alek Skarlotas
Anthony Sadler
Spencer Stone
Judy Greer

The 15:17 to Paris 1 Hour 34 Minutes, PG-13 for gun and knife violence. Fair Value Rating of The 15:17 to Paris: $2.00. Its a solid punt as a Redbox rental, an excellent compromise choice if you’re watching a film with family or people you don’t know well. Impeccable but unessential, pleasing but forgettable. Is […]

Downsizing

Film Title

Downsizing

Synopsis

Honey, I shrank the movie.

Director

Alexander Payne

Cast

Matt Damon
Christoph Waltz
Hong Chau
Kristen Wiig
Rolf Lassgard
Udo Kier
Ingjerd Egeberg

Downsizing 2 hrs 15 minutes, R for Naked Dudes on Slabs Fair Value of Downsizing? $5.00. Worth a rental, a Redbox. As fun and clever a modernization of Jonathan Swift as can be hoped for. Who is this film perfect for? Alexander Payne’s (Sideways, Election) latest comedy is abundant on whimsy but short on jokes. […]

Coco (2017)

Film Title

Coco (2017)

Synopsis

A California Gringo looks at The Night of the Living Dead

Director

Lee Unkrich, Adrian Molina

Cast

Anthony Gonzalez
Gael Garcia Bernal
Benjamin Bratt
Alanna Ubach
Renee Victor
Jaime Camil
Gabriel Iglesias

Fair Value of Coco (2017): $7.00. Purely upon its own merits, and viewed in a void, I’d say this is a $20.00 film. But I’m cutting my score by half for the context of appropriation without accreditation, and another deduction for the subtext of the film. This is a film that I liked the more […]

Loving Vincent

Film Title

Loving Vincent

Synopsis

A beautiful story on oil painted animation

Director

Dorota Kobiela, Hugh Welchman

Cast

Douglass Booth
Josh Burdett
Holly Earl
Robin Hodges
John Sessions
Aidan Turner

Loving Vincent 1 hr 34 minutes, PG-13 for mutilation and suicide. Fair Value of Loving Vincent: $5.00. Its a good art house film, and works as an adequate primer for somebody who knows nothing of post-impressionism. A good movie for your suburban relatives and in-laws. Patron Saint of the Starving Artists: There are a number […]

Ruthless Recommendations- 29 Horror Movies for Children available for streaming on Netflix, Amazon Prime, or YouTube

  I may have a skewed sense of what is child-appropriate, but these movies do not contain any great amount of violence or sexual content, and as such, might qualify for being spooky, but not traumatizing. Children do want to be scared sometimes, and in the right conditions and pre-requisites, there can even be a […]

The Foreigner (2017)

Film Title

The Foreigner (2017)

Synopsis

A businessman fights terrorism, his past, and government officials

Director

Martin Campbell

Cast

Jackie Chan
Pierce Bronsan
Katie Leung
Rufus Jones
Mark Tandy

Film Review- The Foreigner (2017) Fair Value of The Foreigner: $5.00. Its worth watching on the in-flight movie, but there’s little that’s memorable about this film. Is This Film Worth My Time? The Foreigner is a taut and engaging mixture of vigilante action and espionage. Its one of the better, more well assembled examples of […]

Blade Runner 2049

Film Title

Blade Runner 2049

Synopsis

Blade Runner 2049 is a visual masterpiece and cerebral joy

Director

Denis Villeneuve

Cast

Ryan Gosling
Harrison Ford
Robin Wright
Jared Leto
Dave Bautista
Anna De Armas
Edward James Olmos
Mackenzie Davis
Sylvia Hoeks
Ana Steline

Film Review- Blade Runner 2049 2hrs 34 minutes, R for graphic violence and nudity Fair Value of Blade Runner 2049: $24. Easily worth multiple viewings, with elaborate scenes and gorgeous visuals making an IMAX premium justifiable. A worthy successor to the classic that invented Cyberpunk. Future Parables Must Be Coded in Chrome and Holograms: To […]

It (2017)

Film Title

It (2017)

Synopsis

A group of bullied kids band together when a shape-shifting demon, taking the appearance of a clown, begins hunting children.

Director

Andy Muschietti

Cast

Jaeden Lieberher
Sophia Lillis
Bill Skarsgard
Jack Glazer
Finn Wolfhard
Wyatt Oleff
Jeremy Taylor
Chosen Jacobs
Nicholas Hamilton

Film Review- It (2017) 2 hours 15 minutes, R for multiple child maiming. Fair Value of It: $20. I’m going to go back for another screening when I can find a cheap seat. Autobio for the Longform: Georgie Denbrough has always been one of the reasons why I hate the name George. Hes the iconic […]