Movie: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre There are many ways in which a movie scene can be memorable, but in the spirit of the upcoming Halloween season, let’s discuss perhaps the most memorable scene in (fuck objectivity) the finest horror movie of all time, Tobe Hooper’s 1974 masterpiece The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. The realism and […]
Miami Connection
September 21, 2022 by
Film Title
Miami ConnectionSynopsis
A martial arts rock band goes Ninja against a motocycle gang
Director
Woo-sang ParkCast
Y.K. Kim
Vincent Hirsch
Joseph Diamond
Maurice Smith
Kathy Collier
William Ergle
Tagline: Survival the ultimate test… (This is the only one I could find, and it means fuck all in the context of the movie) Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence: Karate kids KO cocaine cowboys. Homoeroticism: The boys of Dragon Sound, the Taekwondo team / 80s pop band that serves as […]
A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy’s Revenge
July 25, 2022 by
Film Title
A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's RevengeSynopsis
Ezra reviews the gayest horror movie ever. He clearly enjoyed this way too much.
Director
Jack SholderCast
Robert Englund
Mark Patton
Kim Myers
Robert Rusler
Clu Gulager
Hope Lang
Though my previous in-depth takes on movies such as Little Monsters, Beethoven, and Baby’s Day Out have provoked responses ranging from “imaginative,” to “a bit of a stretch,” to “outright pants-shitting lunacy,” there is not a movie buff worth their salt who disagrees that A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy’s Revenge is the […]
Little Monsters (1989)
June 15, 2022 by
Film Title
Little MonstersSynopsis
Monsters under the bed. We all know they are there.
Director
Richard GreenbergCast
Howie Mandel
Daniel Stern
Fred Savage
Margaret Whitton
Frank Whaley
On its surface, Little Monsters is merely a fun, visually compelling mashup of Peter Pan and Beetlejuice, as well as a movie that seriously overestimates the charms of one Howie Mandel. Beneath that surface, its intended subtext taps into common childhood anxieties about moving to a new place, fitting in, and the overwhelming dread that […]
Upstream Color
May 28, 2022 by
Film Title
Upstream ColorSynopsis
A man and woman are drawn together as their identity becomes an illusion.Â
Director
Shane CarruthCast
Amy Seimetz
Frank Mosley
Shane Carruth
Andrew Sensenig
It was a nine-year wait between writer-director-producer-actor-composer Shane Carruth’s first film, Primer (perhaps the most realistic, challenging, and compelling time-travel movie ever made), and his masterpiece, Upstream Color, an even more complex and challenging movie, and certainly a more visually appealing one. It has now been nine years since the latter was released, with no […]
Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!
April 23, 2022 by
Film Title
Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!Synopsis
Giant sharks again fill this air. This time from Washington D.C. to Orlando Florida
Director
Anthony C. FerranteCast
Ian Ziering
Tara Reid
Mark Cuban
Bo Derek
David Hasselhoff
Ann Coulter
Reviewing any Sharknado movie is an exercise in utter chaos, so for this deep dive (I am truly sorry for the pun) into Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!, I will basically just be transcribing my frenzied, disbelieving notes, but cleaned up and tweaked into coherent sentences and paragraphs. Or so I hope. I’ve seen three […]
Nosferatu (1922)
April 10, 2022 by
Film Title
NosferatuSynopsis
The first real vampire movie ever made is still terrifying
Director
F.W. MurnauCast
Max Schreck
Alexander Granach
Gustav von Wagenheim
Greta Schroder
George H. Schnell
It has now been a century since the release of the first real vampire movie, F.W. Murnau’s somewhat loose adaptation of Bram Stoker’s 1897 novel Dracula. In Nosferatu: A Symphony of Horror, the names of characters were changed, along with many plot details, and still there was a lawsuit brought by Stoker’s heirs, and a […]
Ezra’s 2022 Oscar Predictions
March 26, 2022 by
No, I am not trying to guarantee this will help you win your Oscar party betting pool or whatever. This is just one film cricket’s best guesses, with a little hedging of the bets in the form of a second place guess in some categories, and highly tainted by emotion in others (such as any […]
Movie Geeks Manifesto
February 28, 2022 by
“My love of cinema supersedes all moral considerations.” –Alfred Hitchcock There are many different opinions on this, all of which would undoubtedly be geeky to discuss at length, but in my opinion, a geek is someone deeply obsessed with a particular field of knowledge. As opposed to, say, a nerd, who excels at all things […]
Sharknado: A Survivor’s Tale
February 16, 2022 by
Youse guys seen these fuckin Sharknado movies? [Editor’s Note: Yes, and I reviewed two of them. Pay attention] It’s kinda important that you have… Well, take it from me, a guy who’s survived two sharknadoes…[Editor’s Note: I’ve watched 3, plus Piranha Sharks, so there!] I don’t know if that’s spelled with an “e” or not. […]
