Movie Geeks Manifesto

“My love of cinema supersedes all moral considerations.” –Alfred Hitchcock  There are many different opinions on this, all of which would undoubtedly be geeky to discuss at length, but in my opinion, a geek is someone deeply obsessed with a particular field of knowledge.  As opposed to, say, a nerd, who excels at all things […]

Sharknado: A Survivor’s Tale

Youse guys seen these fuckin Sharknado movies?  [Editor’s Note: Yes, and I reviewed two of them. Pay attention] It’s kinda important that you have…  Well, take it from me, a guy who’s survived two sharknadoes…[Editor’s Note: I’ve watched 3, plus Piranha Sharks, so there!] I don’t know if that’s spelled with an “e” or not. […]

Confessions Of A Condiment King -or- Why Goat Revoked Ezra’s Key To The Break Room At Ruthless Towers

Greetings, citizens of Gotham! It is I, Buddy Standler, the Condiment King! You mayo may not have heard my fearsome moniker before…. Oh, come now, you mustard of me at least once or twice. Well, please endeavor to ketchup and follow along, for mine is a tale to relish!  I may not be one of […]

Ezra’s Top 10 Favorite Movies of 2021

THE TRAGEDY OF MACBETH – To be honest, the trailer alone became my favorite movie of the year as soon as I saw it, and the actual feature certainly doesn’t disappoint. In fact, my appreciation for it only grew on the second viewing. Joel Coen’s first “solo” movie (without his brother Ethan) is a stunning […]

The Dead Pool (1988)

Film Title

The Dead Pool

Synopsis

Dirty Harry just learned a new game

Director

Buddy Van Horn

Cast

Clint Eastwood
Liam Neeson
Patricia Clarksib
Evan C. Kim
Jim Carrey
David Hunt
Michael Currie

Tagline:  Dirty Harry Just Learned A New Game  Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence:  Movies don’t kill people, Dirty Harry does.  Homoeroticism:  Early on, we see a young Jim Carrey (as rock star Johnny Squares) prancing around in a leather outfit to the tune of “Welcome to the Jungle,” but that’s […]

Sudden Impact (1983)

Film Title

Sudden Impact

Synopsis

Two killers are at large. One of them is Dirty Harry.

Director

Clint Eastwood

Cast

Clint Eastwood
Sondra Locke
Pat Hingle
Bradford Dillman
Paul Drake
Jack Thibeau
Albert Popwell

Tagline:  Two killers are at large. One of them is Dirty Harry.  Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence:  Revenge is best served with a comically farting dog.  Homoeroticism:  All in all, this is probably the most disappointingly hetero movie in the whole series, as Harry gets closer to a woman than […]

The Enforcer (1976)

Film Title

The Enforcer

Synopsis

The “dirtiest” Harry of them all!

Director

James Fargo

Cast

Clint Eastwood
Tyne Daly
DeVerne Bookwalter
Harry Guardino
Bradford Dillman
John Mitchum
John Crawford
Albert Popwell

Tagline:  The “dirtiest” Harry of them all!  Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence:  Harry endures militants, radicals and, worst of all, women.  Homoeroticism:  The lead baddie, Bobby Maxwell (DeVeren Bookwalter) shares Harry’s love of the kill, a look of erotic rapture overtaking his face as he shoves his huge knife into […]

Magnum Force (1973)

Film Title

Magnum Force

Synopsis

Dirty Harry is now on the trail of rouge vigilante cops

Director

Ted Post

Cast

Clint Eastwood
Hal Holbrook
Mitchell Ryan
David Soul
Tim Matheson
Robert Urich
Kip Niven

Tagline:  This time the bullets are hitting pretty close to home!  Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence:  Harry could just kill his Stupid Chief this time.  Homoeroticism:  Once again limited almost exclusively to the fetishization of guns, beginning with the opening credits sequence, which consists of a very long shot of […]

Dirty Harry (1971)

Film Title

Dirty Harry

Synopsis

Dirty Harry hunts down a psychopath punk who is terrorizing San Francisco

Director

Don Siegel

Cast

Clint Eastwood
Andrew Robinson
Harry Gardino
John Vernon
Reni Santoni
Ruth Kobart
John Mitchum

Tagline:  Dirty Harry and the homicidal maniac. Harry’s the one with the badge.  Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence:  Only bullets can repair a broken system.  Homoeroticism:  Limited almost exclusively to the fetishization of guns, which of course represent dicks in the 80s Action canon, of which this is arguably the […]

Absolute Corruption: Citizen Kane, Scarface, Beauty and the Beast

Never before or since has any director made such an impressive feature film debut as Orson Welles with Citizen Kane, made when he was only 25 years old. Despite having no prior experience in filmmaking, Welles was given carte blanche on the production, and he delivered the most original, innovative, and provocative movie of its […]