The Bishop’s Wife (1947)

Film Title

The Bishop's Wife

Synopsis

An angel comes to Earth to help raise money for a Bishop’s church. If he had just used Zelle, we wouldn’t have a movie.

Director

Henry Koster

Cast

Cary Grant
Loretta Young
David Niven
James Gleason
Monty Woolley
Gladys Cooper

There are many examples in cinema history of iconic movie roles originally being intended for very different actors than those who ended up playing them, from Jon Lovitz and Dana Carvey as the original would-be stars of the Bad Boys franchise to Will Smith and Val Kilmer in the roles of Neo and Morpheus in […]

A Christmas In Vermont (2016)

Film Title

A Christmas In Vermont

Synopsis

Tan-colored milkshakes save Christmas



Cast

Chevy Chase
Abigail Hawk
Zack Ward
Howard Hessman
Morgan Fairchild

Oh, how the mighty have fallen! Though there is some reason to speculate that he may have been drunk the whole time, and little doubt that the entire role was filmed in no more than a day or two, the highest-billed male actor in the 2016 TV movie A Christmas in Vermont is none other […]

Trapped In Paradise (1994)

Film Title

Trapped In Paradise

Synopsis

Nothing expresses Yuletide joy like robbing a bank

Director

George Gallo

Cast

Nicholas Cage
Dana Carvey
Jon Lovitz
Florence Stanley
Richard Jenkins

Trapped in Paradise is far from the most beloved entry in the great Christmas movie pantheon, as evidenced by the fact that it has not yet been covered on this site. Its own cast reportedly hated working on it so much that they took to calling it Trapped in Bullshit, though the only source I […]

Fatman (2020)

Film Title

Fatman

Synopsis

A 12 year old punk hires a hit-man to snuff out Santa. Santa is no amused.

Director

Eshom & Iam Nelms

Cast

Mel Gibson
Walton Goggins
Marianne Jean-Baptiste
Chance Hurstfield
Robert Bockstael

The subversive Christmas movie is nothing new in cinema. Every year, profound wits declare that they and they alone have discovered the shocking truth that Die Hard is, in fact, a Christmas movie. Taking it a bit further, nearly every action movie written by the great Shane Black (Lethal Weapon, The Long Kiss Goodnight, etc) […]

Dr. Suess’s Ron & Jim Ruined Christmas

Several times while watching the Ron Howard-directed How the Grinch Stole Christmas, I found myself wondering, “Who is this even for?” At 105 minutes, it’s a bit on the long side for kids small enough to actually enjoy Jim Carrey’s manic, over-the-top turn as the title character, and the whole thing is far too ugly […]

Verotika

Film Title

Verotika

Synopsis

A movie that apparently is as least as good as The Beast of Yucca Flats

Director

Glenn Danzig

Cast

Ashley Wisdom
Rachel Alig
Alice Tate
Scotch Hopkins
Kayden Kross
Sean Kanan
Natalia Borowosky

Damn this inconvenient global pandemic! A movie like Glenn Danzig’s absurdly amateurish, lurid, and pointless Verotika simply demands to be seen in a theater full of like-minded trash-lovers cackling and shouting at the ineptitude displayed onscreen. It is just not meant to be seen as your faithful servant, this reviewer, was forced to see it, […]

Loving the Bomb: Technology & Conquest in the Films of Stanley Kubrick

Stanley Kubrick (1928-1999) was undeniably one of the most brilliant and innovative motion picture directors of all time. His meticulously crafted works have influenced innumerable filmmakers all over the world, from Steven Spielberg to Gaspar Noe. Obviously, entire books have been written about Kubrick’s oeuvre, so let us focus here on the peak of his […]

Once Upon a Time… In Hollywood: One Possible Interpretation

In all that has already been written and said about Quentin Tarantino’s latest (and supposedly penultimate) movie, one thing that comes up again and again is the surprisingly disrespectful way in which the character of Bruce Lee (Mike Moh) is portrayed. His one really crucial scene sees him being arrogant toward stuntman Cliff Booth (Brad […]

The Dead Don’t Die (2019)

Film Title

The Dead Don't Die

Synopsis

Another lame zombie movie. Watch The Train To Busan instead

Director

Jim Jarmusch

Cast

Steve Buscemi
Bill Murray
Adam Driver
Cloe Sevigny
Tom Waits
Danny Glover

“Humor is subjective” is a phrase I forced myself to remember several times throughout legendary independent filmmaker Jim Jarmusch’s latest, The Dead Don’t Die, as several other people in the audience with me reacted audibly and approvingly to jokes I found relentlessly unfunny and lame.  Here are some of the bits that elicited laughter…  Farmer […]

Un Chien Andalou

Film Title

Un Chien Andalou

Synopsis

A Short Film

Director

Luis Bunuel

Cast

Simon Mareuil
Pierre Batcheff

This 1929 collaboration between Luis Bunuel and Salvador Dali is one of the strangest and most enigmatic films ever produced, containing all the layers of dream logic and elusive profundity of a David Lynch movie in under twenty minutes. The two notorious surrealists apparently couldn’t have been happier that their work confounded so many viewers […]