Games Media Shoots Massive Loads Over Orlando Shooting (Of Course) 50 people are dead in Orlando, as many are injured, and the body count record for a single mass shooting in the US has almost doubled. Heres what we know: The shooter, Omar Mateen (AKA Omar Mir Seddique Mateen)pledged his allegiance to ISIS. The shooter […]
Gone Home Review
Gone Home Review Note: This article originally ran on 12/20/2013 at Subtle Blend. In (dis)honor of Gone Home’s console release and inclusion as one of June’s free Playstation Plus games, we rerun it here for the edification of all who see it. Summary: 2013’s over-hyped sacred cow: Production values from 1999 married to an interactive […]
DOOM Review (2016)
DOOM Review (2016) Pictured: DOOM’s design document, in its entirety. Within the first minute of DOOM (a game which, like MORTAL KOMBAT, refers to itself in ALL CAPS, and who are we to argue?), you have freed yourself from the chains bolting you to a sarcophagus which was recovered from the depths of […]
Ghostbusters Trailer Review
This is a thing they’re actually doing. You’re aware they’re doing it. Let’s just skip the background and jump right into it. (You can watch the thing here.) Ghostbusters trailer review and analysis, here we go: (0:00 – 0:30) We begin by reminding people, in BIG WHITE TEXT, that the original film exists. And really, […]
E3 2015: A GODDAMN SLOBBERKNOCKER
E3 2015: A GODAMN SLOBBERKNOCKER “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, STOP THE DAMN TRADE SHOW!” Hear ye, hear ye! Now comes the time for Electronic Entertainment Expo XXI, the 21st yearly celebration of marketing hyperbole, awkward stage presentations, and crazy ambitious promises (that companies will never be able to keep). Dates: June 16-18, 2015 Main Event: Facebook/Oculus […]
Game Of The Year 2014
Game of the Year 2014 (And other unfashionably late awards) INTRODUCTION: THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN DONE IN LIKE DECEMBER. I WAS TOO BUSY PLAYING BEEP BOOP PEW PEWS EATING DORY TOES AND REPLACING MY BLOOD WITH MOUNTAIN DEW HILL WATER VIA DIALYSIS. I ALSO WAS HAVING TOO MUCH FUN OPPRESSING BOTH MY OWN BROODMARE AND […]
Daylight Review
Author’s note: On the day this review is being published, Zombie Studios, the developer of Daylight, announced it was shutting down after more than two decades of operation. In tribute, we review their final “game.” Have you ever told a hot girl that her poems/photographs/stories/etc. were good, even though they weren’t? Of course you have. […]
The ABCs of Gamergate
To read about other ABC rants click here! A total war where game journos & indie developers side against the people who keep them in business, Gamergate has been fought in the awful, muck-and-porn filled trenches of the Internet for 3 months. Here, then, is a primer to understanding the finer points of what happens […]