NFL Week 13: Hey, Look, It’s Real Football Edition

My bloodshot eyes are shifty. My head is on a swivel as I watch my P’s and Q’s, walking on eggshells along the straight and narrow. I used to be the new kid, the sexy up-and-comer bringing flash and pizzaz to an already stellar Ruthless roster. They even voted me Most Handsome And Popular Gambling […]

NFL Week 12: I Love The New York Post Edition

Wait wait wait! Hold your fire! I will concede that at first glance we had another down week, the second of two in a row for the first time all season, I think. However, some of you should have come out even or very close to it, because we hit the Lamar Jackson prop. The […]

NFL Week 11: Yes, Christmas Is Almost Here Edition

Yeah, I know. I’m right there with you *hears music, faces same*. One and three sucks balls. I’m especially salty because the Pats and Jets were favorites who not only failed to cover, but lost outright. But truth be told – and this may get a little sappy, I know – but the DMs and […]

NFL Week 10: Halloween Is Not Quite Over Yet Edition

Ready to talk some NFL football? Great! Me too. Here goes: *ahem* FUCK Tucker Carlson. My God, the Fainting Couch Repairman’s Union are probably calling guys who haven’t worked in years. It wasn’t just the usual charlatans, either. One expects the generally-worthless corporate media to react like the sheltered, rich cowards they are, and of […]

NFL Week 9: Our Democracy’s Last Chance Edition

Sooooooo. How has everybody been? Yeah, okay, I was a little on edge last week, and it came through on the page. Can you really blame me, though? The body count went from 11 to 13 as I was trying to craft jokes about a guy sending 14 bombs to people because his pretend boyfriend […]

NFL Week 8: Bomb ‘Em and Shoot ‘Em Edition

Here extended before you is the notorious hot hand. See me, feel me, touch me. But for Manning the younger and Odell Beckham Jr. combining for a garbage time touchdown and Saquon Barkley punching in an ultimately meaningless two-point conversion, all the while being scolded from the booth by Joe Tessitore, wed have run the […]

NFL Week 7: They Play Kickball in Saudia Arabia Edition

Hello again, Ruthless! Hell-O to the surviving members of G.W.A.R.! And a big big BIG HELLO to my new friends amongst the Florida Atlantic University students and alumni who can afford an ISP. Go Owls! Like, literally. Go! Go away and stop emailing me and (oh man I’m sorry bear with me, regulars) stop sliding […]

NFL Week 6: 1.4 Billion Chinese Don’t Care Edition

One of the crazier things about gambling as a hobby is the duality of emotions that come with the territory, so to speak. Sometimes you catch a break and you’re on top of the world, hugging strangers and tossing black chips at the stickman while the dopamine and adrenaline go flooding into your brain stem. […]

NFL Football Week 5: We’re All Animals, Just Different Cages Edition

Rats! Who bears the brunt of the guilt for ruining our would-be payout last weekend? Under normal circumstances, I would either curse the Falcons for giving it away, or hammer the Bengals for stealing it. Fortunately – or, unfortunately I guess – there is enough blame to spread around. Last Sundays fourth quarter in Atlanta […]

NFL Football Week 4: The FBI Has Only One Week Edition

There are those who claim that my picks went 1-3 last week, and to those people I would say: let me take a step back and explain high school. I was number one in the class. Im going to talk about my high school record, if you’re going to sit here and mock me. I […]