NFL Week 3: Brett Kavanaugh Only Rapes For Great Justice Version

Relax. Today the captive, tomorrow the conqueror. Those of us who subject ourselves to this chaos for fun and profit are used to the swings, but if you’re new, just stay the course and think long term. Though it would be nice, we are not going to win every game every weekend. Ultimately, we are […]

NFL Week Two: It’s All About That Bass, Not The Treble Edition

YOU LIKE THAT! YOU LIKE THAT! *Badass strutting music blares* No no, just kidding, same rules as last year. Pick whatever present participle you want, gaming, handicapping, gambling, its still a game of chance at the end. We don’t apologize for losses around here and we don’t show our ass when were hot, either. Today […]

NFL Week 1: It’s Even Too Hot To Play Tennis Edition

  I Am Part of the Resistance Inside the NFL Administration. I work for Commissioner Roger Goodell but like-minded colleagues and I have vowed to thwart parts of his agenda and his worst inclinations. It was a very serious thwart vow. There were candles. We even wore robes! Commissioner Goodell is facing a test to […]

NFL Preseason: Half Mast or Half Staff Edition

I am well aware that this is Ruthless. I’m not you, you’re not me, we aren’t all the same as each other, but the difference, it ain’t much at all. This really is, by the grace of God, a place where nihilists debate pornographers about pop culture (that’s not on the front page anymore; use […]

NFL Preseason: Meaningful Carnage In Meaningless Games Edition

NFL Preseason: Meaningful Carnage In Meaningless Games Edition Well, the world keeps turning, wheel in the sky, flat circle, whatever you wish to say about the repetitive nature of life, and the same holds true for preseason football. We’ve had our egocentric rookie holdout, our heroic redemptive comeback, the standard veteran QB speed dating, the […]

NFL Preseason: The corn is not even in yet Edition

NFL Preseason: The corn is not even in yet Edition Ladies and gentlemen, I am emphatically thrilled to inform you that I spy, with my bloodshot eye, American football on my television! My East Coast weather vacillates between sweltering heat and flash floods, body-cammed cops can apparently plant dope on you or shoot flashbangs at […]

Super Bowl L II Sunday: Ruthless Super Bowl Spectacular Edition

I type with eyes resembling a sink-submerged wine glass and fail, repeatedly, to convince myself that my autonomic nervous system is not spewing blood into my glottis at the thought of this, our last kickoff together, less than 24 hours away. My face is not flush. My lip is not quivering. Of course not! Its […]

NFL Championship Weekend: What Can Cheeto Do Next Edition

Who is Stormy Daniels? Note that this is a genuine question, the answer to which will affect my judgment to some degree. So I don’t mean it in a pseudo-philosophical way, like some idiotic Nancy Grace talking head. Nor am I taking the tact of a therapist, like when they say no, really, who is […]

NFL Wildcard Weekend: Lifebuoy For The Commander In Chief Edition

Well ladies and gentlemen, here we are. Saturday and Sunday bring us the divisional rounds, the first playoff games where everyone starts watching. Typically, anyway. The general idea is that these games feature the teams most likely to play in February, so the casuals come out of the woodwork. Unfortunately, so too do the bandwagon […]

NFL Playoffs: Wild Card Weekend Edition

I haven’t read the Wolff book yet. I read the New York Magazine excerpt, of course, and the Axios thing that reads just a little too dismissive, like they’re pissed that they got scooped. As can be seen, they sneer at Wolff for burning sources – and sweet Jesus, did that dude burn some sources […]