Who wants a moustache ride? It’s time for another edition of “Should You Have Remade That Movie?” For those new to our game, it’s simple. We ask a few easy questions and determine how wrong it was to remake a movie. Tonight’s contestant is Murder on the Orient Express. Now, let’s play “Should You Have […]

Party on. Among other things, here’s what I said about Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol 2 – “It felt like two hours of dudes fucking around on a film set for two-plus hours and calling it a movie.”Thor: Ragnarok is those same dudes throwing an epic party where everything goes off perfect and everyone talks […]

We don’t even get to see her body. (Note: I originally wrote this review in 2010. Reviewing the cast now and seeing J.K. Simmons and Chris Pratt listed is hilarious.) One of these days, I’m hoping that all of this writing is going to lead me to a place where I might get to interview […]

The Iceman Cometh. The Snowman. Oh man, am I proud of that tagline. I always try to avoid using clunky puns in my taglines, and this movie just begs for something hacky like “This movie leaves everything out in the cold” or “You just got snowed in” or “‘Snow joke this movie is bad.” For […]

Jackie Chan for the win. Of all the actors you’ve seen in a film or television, can you name one that appears to love their job more than Chan? You know when you hear he’s in a new movie, you are in. You don’t even need to know the title; just when the film opens […]

This actually happened. If the only thing you think of when you hear the word contra is up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-b-a-b-a-select-start, youre not alone. Even with as much history as I consume, I still haven’t jumped into the events of the late 1970s and early 1980s involving the Central and South American rebels and their U.S. backing. But, […]

It sucked, but not because it’s a sequel. Just before the movie It released and shattered box office records, a bunch of Chicken Littles wrote a bunch of articles bemoaning the poor summer box office returns, reheating a classic groupthink explanation for those poor returns. Variety provided a great example of this intellectual emptiness, stating […]

Mmmmm. Ears. Long live the 80’s. When the climax of American Assassin completed, I immediately knew I would be writing a review in Ruthless Review’s 80’s Action Movie format. American Assassin checks off all the boxes and even reminds us of other standard components – the training montage, bomb timers, and crazy Michael Keaton, among […]

Less is more. In one of the weirder quirks of movie scheduling, two Stephen King adaptations released within a month of each other. The first – The Dark Tower – was a bit of a disappointment financially and a major flop among critics. Personally, I thought it was acceptable. Now comes a new take on […]