Wish Upon

Film Title

Wish Upon

Synopsis

A high school girl makes wishes that end in unintentional comedy and novelty deaths.

Director

John R. Leonetti

Cast

Joey King
Ryan Phillippe
Ki Hong Lee
Mitchell Slaggert
Shannon Purser
Sydney Park
Elisabeth Rohm
Josephine Langford

Kind of some obvious wishes did not get made. Sometimes, you have to be in the right mood to enjoy a movie, especially a bad one. Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been listening to a podcast called My Dad Wrote a Porno and it is arguably the funniest thing I’ve heard in my […]

Spider-Man: Homecoming

Film Title

Spider-Man: Homecoming

Synopsis

Tom Holland and Marvel help us forget 13 years and 3 movies of shame.

Director

Jon Watts

Cast

Tom Holland
Michael Keaton
Marisa Tomei
Robert Downey Jr.
Jon Favreau
Zendaya
Donald Glover

Now we can argue about the best Spider-Man actor. Do you realize it’s been thirteen years since the last good Spider-Man film? Spider-Man 2 was the last good one and Andrew Garfield was not better than Tobey Maguire. Yeah, I said it. The Amazing Spider-Man was bland and Garfield’s portrayal was mediocre and not sympathetic. […]

Baby Driver

Film Title

Baby Driver

Director

Edgar Wright

Cast

Ansel Elgort
Kevin Spacey
Jon Hamm
Jamie Foxx
Eiza Gonzalez
Lily James
Jon Bernthal
CJ Jones

Worst title ever? In the context of the film, the title makes perfect sense. The main character is named Baby, he’s a getaway driver for heists, and he’s really young. In the context of wanting to sell more movie tickets, it’s maybe the worst title ever. When I first saw it on the advanced screening […]

Despicable Me 3

Film Title

Despicable Me 3

Synopsis

Gru and family fight the 1980s.

Director

Pierre Coffin and Kyle Balda

Cast

Steve Carrell
Kristen Wiig
Trey Parker
Miranda Cosgrove
Dana Gaier
Nev Scharrel
Pierre Coffin

How to entertain children and adults at the same time. As a kid of the eighties, Despicable Me 3 managed to remind me of how completely stupid was that entire decade. Stupid clothes, stupid trends, stupid catch phrases, and some really, really stupid music. Despicable Me 3 put those things back in the spotlight, simultaneously […]

Transformers: The Last Knight

Film Title

Transformers: The Last Knight

Synopsis

Just stop.

Director

Michael Bay

Cast

Mark Wahlberg
Anthony Hopkins
Stanley Tucci
Laura Haddock
Josh Duhamel
Isabel Moner
Peter Cullen
John Goodman
John Turturro
Ken Watanabe
Gemma Chan
Steve Buscemi

A run-on sentence, but with explosions. I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is Transformers: The Last Knight is the third best (and third worst) movie in the franchise. The bad news is it’s still a Transformers sequel. Yes, you read that right and you are wrong – the first Transformers movie […]

Cars 3

Film Title

Cars 3

Director

Brian Fee

Cast

Owen Wilson
Nathan Fillion
Cristela Alonzo
Armie Hammer
Chris Cooper
Larry the Cable Guy
Kerry Washington
Bonnie Hunt
Tony Shalhoub

You can take your stats and shove up them up your tailpipe. As a lifelong baseball fan, statistics are interesting to me, have been ever since I was a kid. I loved reading baseball articles that painted a fantastical picture of my favorite players doing seemingly otherworldly things and I loved how they weaved in […]

Prometheus (2012)

Film Title

Prometheus

Synopsis

Cave art leads humans to their creators and black goo.

 

Director

Ridley Scott

Cast

Noomi Rapace
Michael Fassbender
Charlize Theron
Guy Pearce
Idris Elba
Sean Harris
Logan Marshall-Green

Prometheus (2012) The last time I saw a movie as incomplete as Prometheus was when I saw I am Legend. I remember leaving the theater after I am Legend being really disappointed and thinking there were twenty minutes missing that would have helped the movie make more sense. Lo and behold, the DVD included an […]

The Mummy (2017)

Film Title

The Mummy (2017)

Synopsis

A secret organization battles an evil mummy with mercury and Tom Cruise.

Director

Alex Kurtzman

Cast

Tom Cruise
Russell Crowe
Annabelle Wallis
Sofia Boutella
Jake Johnson
Courtney B. Vance

No, a different mummy. Did you know that Universal Pictures is launching a whole franchise called Dark Universe? Maybe I’m slipping a bit on Hollywood current events because I had not heard so much as a whisper about this until screening the first film in the franchise – The Mummy – Tuesday night (June 7). […]

Wonder Woman

Film Title

Wonder Woman

Synopsis

Wonder Woman overcomes World War I German armies and Zack Snyder’s writing and style to deliver the first worthwhile DCEU film.

Director

Patty Jenkins

Cast

Gal Gadot
Chris Pine
Danny Huston
Robin Wright
Connie Nielsen
David Thewlis
Elena Anaya

No, I will not make a lasso of truth or wonder pun. As I write this (on May 31), Wonder Woman is currently enjoying a 97% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes (over 93 reviews). No, that is not a typo and, yes, we’re talking about a DC movie co-written and co-produced by Zack Snyder (directed […]

Alien: Covenant

Film Title

Alien: Covenant

Director

Ridley Scott

Cast

Michael Fassbender
Katherine Waterston
Billy Crudup
Danny McBride
Demian Bichir
Goran D Kleut
Andrew Crawford

A great use of a mulligan. After the visually pleasing, but narrative mess that was 2012’s Prometheus, and the continued misses in the video game arena, the Alien franchise has been on life support for years. To be fair, Prometheus turned something of a profit and the critical reception was favorable, but the majority of […]