Thor: Ragnarok

Film Title

Thor: Ragnarok

Synopsis

Thor shows his comedic side and delivers the most entertaining movie of the year.

Director

Taika Waititi

Cast

Chris Hemsworth
Cate Blanchett
Tom Hiddleston
Mark Ruffalo
Tessa Thompson
Jeff Goldblum
Idris Elba
Benedict Cumberbatch
Anthony Hopkins
Karl Urban

Party on. Among other things, here’s what I said about Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol 2 – “It felt like two hours of dudes fucking around on a film set for two-plus hours and calling it a movie.”Thor: Ragnarok is those same dudes throwing an epic party where everything goes off perfect and everyone talks […]

Jennifer’s Body (2009)

Film Title

Jennifer's Body

Synopsis

A demon turns Megan Fox into a succubus who eats people and nobody cares.

Director

Karyn Kusama

Cast

Megan Fox
Amanda Seyfried
Johnny Simmons
J.K. Simmons
Chris Pratt
Amy Sedaris
Adam Brody

We don’t even get to see her body. (Note: I originally wrote this review in 2010. Reviewing the cast now and seeing J.K. Simmons and Chris Pratt listed is hilarious.) One of these days, I’m hoping that all of this writing is going to lead me to a place where I might get to interview […]

The Snowman

Film Title

The Snowman

Synopsis

The documentary of a retired porn-star-turned-detective living in Oslo.

Director

Tomas Alfredson

Cast

Michael Fassbender
Rebecca Ferguson
J.K. Simmons
Charlotte Gainsbourg
Jonas Karlsson
Toby Jones
James D'Arcy
Val Kilmer

The Iceman Cometh. The Snowman. Oh man, am I proud of that tagline. I always try to avoid using clunky puns in my taglines, and this movie just begs for something hacky like “This movie leaves everything out in the cold” or “You just got snowed in” or “‘Snow joke this movie is bad.” For […]

The Foreigner (2017)

Film Title

The Foreigner

Synopsis

An IRA headman’s worst nightmare – an old man bent on revenge.

Director

Martin Campbell

Cast

Jackie Chan
Pierce Brosnan
Katie Leung
Rufus Jones
Mark Tandy

Jackie Chan for the win. Of all the actors you’ve seen in a film or television, can you name one that appears to love their job more than Chan? You know when you hear he’s in a new movie, you are in. You don’t even need to know the title; just when the film opens […]

American Made

Film Title

American Made

Synopsis

A history lesson about the contras and how one bored pilot had a whole lot of fun.

Director

Doug Liman

Cast

Tom Cruise
Sarah Wright
Domhnall Gleeson
Alejandro Edda
Mauicio Mejia

This actually happened. If the only thing you think of when you hear the word contra is up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-b-a-b-a-select-start, youre not alone. Even with as much history as I consume, I still haven’t jumped into the events of the late 1970s and early 1980s involving the Central and South American rebels and their U.S. backing. But, […]

Kingsman: The Golden Circle

Film Title

Kingsman: The Golden Circle

Synopsis

The hell if I know, but Elton John does a flying kick.

Director

Matthew Vaughn

Cast

Taron Egerton
Mark Strong
Colin Firth
Hannah Alstrom
Julianne Moore
Jeff Bridges
Halle Berry
Elton John
Channing Tatum

It sucked, but not because it’s a sequel. Just before the movie It released and shattered box office records, a bunch of Chicken Littles wrote a bunch of articles bemoaning the poor summer box office returns, reheating a classic groupthink explanation for those poor returns. Variety provided a great example of this intellectual emptiness, stating […]

American Assassin

Film Title

American Assassin

Synopsis

Based on the novels of Vince Flynn, a young CIA operative must help thwart a plot to detonate a nuclear bomb.

Director

Michael Cuesta

Cast

Dylan O'Brien
Michael Keaton
Sanaa Lathan
Charlotte Vega
Shiva Negar
Taylor Kitsch

Mmmmm. Ears. Long live the 80’s. When the climax of American Assassin completed, I immediately knew I would be writing a review in Ruthless Review’s 80’s Action Movie format. American Assassin checks off all the boxes and even reminds us of other standard components – the training montage, bomb timers, and crazy Michael Keaton, among […]

It

Film Title

It (2017)

Synopsis

A bloodthirsty clown returns after exactly 27 years, as advertised (well played New Line Cinema).

Director

Andy Muschietti

Cast

Jaeden Lieberher
Sophia Lillis
Bill Skarsgard
Jack Glazer
Finn Wolfhard
Wyatt Oleff
Jeremy Taylor
Chosen Jacobs
Nicholas Hamilton

Less is more. In one of the weirder quirks of movie scheduling, two Stephen King adaptations released within a month of each other. The first – The Dark Tower – was a bit of a disappointment financially and a major flop among critics. Personally, I thought it was acceptable. Now comes a new take on […]

The Only Living Boy in New York

Film Title

The Only Living Boy in New York

Synopsis

New York, featuring jerks.

Director

Marc Webb

Cast

Callum Turner
Kate Beckinsale
Pierce Brosnan
Jeff Bridges
Cynthia Nixon
Kiersey Clemons

Pretentious is as pretentious does. It is not a good sign for a movie when one of the first things the audience hears is how New York just isn’t New York any more. I’m not sure if New Yorkers know this, but the vast majority of people in this country don’t live in New York […]

Wind River

Film Title

Wind River

Synopsis

A hunter and an FBI agent show tribal police how to solve murders.

Director

Taylor Sheridan

Cast

Jeremy Renner
Elizabeth Olsen
Graham Greene
Gil Birmingham
Kelsey Asbille
Jon Bernthal

The Great White Hunter The last shot of the movie Wind River has a title card stating that no data is kept tracking the number of missing Native American girls. This is a strange way to end a movie that isn’t about missing girls, but is about solving the murder of a Native American girl. […]