Happy Mother’s Day

He can hold his breath for a loooong time

When first aid fails, rape them instead

Fully erect at the speed of sound

The FAA and NTSB have him on speed-dial

He once dated Eleanor Rigby.

King of Kings

She’s not mad at you, she’s mad at the dirt.

You goddamn right that’s amore.

Meryl Wants a Fucking Oscar