Mike Von Hobart reviews Steven Seagal’s magnificent directorial debut.

We see her fumble through what few lines she utters
and then we see her die.

Gino plunges a corkscrew into Richie’s forehead, killing him instantly. Then he shoots Richie’s corpse three times, killing it instantly.

Enough pull-ups can, and do, conquer centuries of tradition.

Well it’s about darned time the Finns hoisted their flag of shame here in the States. And what better way to do it than…

I wish I lived in Finland.

American Gladiators 2008 is the greatest and most necessary remake in the history of television.

but the joke’s on you because you’re a white trash pile of dusty,
desert-mongering rattlesnake shit…

You’re killing your bandmates! Cheers

For the love of Horgh, check out that tumbleweed!