It’s fitting that the world’s largest metalfest, a gathering that drew upwards of 70,000 people this year, is situated in the middle of a coagulating, mud-swathed cow pasture.

No doubt cursing Jesus for not giving him enough money to record a decent album.

Long gone are the days when you could show at a Type O concert and find an honest crowd of respectable heshers and skinheads.

the lyrics are the funniest I’ve read in a long time. How can you go wrong with titles like…

How many of your hard-earned dollars will go toward Galder’s latest melted-crayon shirt?

Dolph seeks revenge for his slain buddy proving once again that men, not women, inspire the greatest gun battles.

These assholes almost sent me to the slab out of sheer boredom.

I’m a private language instructor; so happily, I have very little contact with urchins. They like me, I avoid them…

What’s really disturbing is that most of the stories, at least initially, have revolved around white people…

Heaven Shall Burn is the pinnacle of black metal in many ways. This album is just simply fucking hellish.