“Go then, there are other worlds than these…” -Stephen King, The Dark Tower “Two worlds colliding, and they could never tear us apart…” -INXS There once was a world in which a young man decided to go and see the 1996 movie Space Jam, in a movie theater, while under the influence of LSD. This […]
Space Jam (1996)

Film Title
Space JamSynopsis
Fluffy bunny’s and big bald men slam-duke it out with their respective adversaries
Director
Joe PytkaCast
Bugs Bunny
Michael Jordan
Bill Murray
Wayne Knight
Theresa Randle
Bullet Train (2022)

Film Title
Bullet TrainSynopsis
Five assassins aboard a swiftly-moving bullet train find out that their missions have something in common.
Director
David LeitchCast
Brad Pitt
Joey King
Aaron Taylor-Johnson
Brian Tyree Henry
Snakes on a train. Didn’t they do this, already? Oh, no, wait, that was on a plain. Snakes ON A PLAIN. This one is on a train. Yes, okay. Well, Brad Pitt is in it. That’s good, isn’t it? If you like him. You know, as an actor. I must admit that I don’t know […]
Road Trains: A Meaningless Rant About Truckles
The Instant Death & Disaster Show! Just imagine, if you will, the great Australian outback: mile after endless mile of absolutely nothing but dry red sands, and the occasional kangaroo. It’s hot. And empty. And vast. Through it cuts one, immeasurable ribbon of tarmac, leading from point A to nowhere, forever and ever. On it, […]
The Zero Theorem

Film Title
The Zero TheoremSynopsis
A talented but socially isolated computer operator is tasked by Management to prove the Zero Theorem
Director
Terry GilliamCast
Christolph Waltz
Lucas Hedges
Melanie Thierry
David Thewliss
Lily Cole
‘You’re quite insane, Mr. Leth…’ They say that to really understand someone, you need to see inside their house. If the same thing goes for movies and minds, I think I like Terry Gilliam. He was once a member of the legendary Flying Circus of Monty Python, and since then wrote, among other things, the […]
Big Hair T. and the Fence-Licking Donkey
Watching Birds of Prey, that Harley Quin-movie from DCEU (yeah, I know… But it was on TV with nothing better on, so I thought…) while under heavy influence of some truly excellent weed and lots of cheap beer is (or so I imagine) a bit like attending a The Wall-concert from Pink Floyd, completely sober. […]
Squishier Things
Since it’s apparently that time of year again to get all squishy about family and ‘gezelligheid’ and all that shit, I thought I’d make a little list of my favorite end-of-year movies, in no particular order. Enjoy. The Hobbit Once, a long, long time ago in a universe far, far away, I rented a VCR […]
Akira

Film Title
AkiraSynopsis
Neo-Tokyo is in danger. Anime to the rescue
Director
Katsuhiro OtomaCast
Who cares?
Some movies just blow you away. Whether it’s because of a great story, superb acting or stunning visuals (preferably all three, of course), there are films out there that just leave you staring, with eyes wide and an open mouth, in an almost childlike bewilderment. Avatar did that to me, as well as some entries […]
White House Down (2013)

Film Title
White House DownSynopsis
Protect The President!
Director
Roland EmmerichCast
Channing Tatum
Jamie Foxx
Jason Clarke
Maggie Gyllenhaal
Richard Jenkins
James Wood
I love movies. I always have. All sorts of movies, from totally weird shit like Eraserhead from David Lynch all the way down to Harry effing Potter, I love ‘m all. The one category of films that brought me by far the most pleasure over the years is the Big, Loud, Dumb Action-movie. There’s just […]
Morbius (2022)

Film Title
MoribusSynopsis
A biochemist with a rare blood disorder turns himself into a vampire
Director
Daniel EpinosaCast
Jared Leto
Adria Arjona
Matt Smith
Jared Harris
Michael Keaton
Sucking blood This is totally insane, and probably nothing like any movie-review you ever read, or are ever going to read, but here goes. If my name was Morbius, I probably too would drink human blood. With that sort of name, I’d might as well call myself Dracula and move into a castle in Transylvania. […]
Christine (1983)

Film Title
ChristineSynopsis
A creepy boy buys a possessed 1958 Plymouth Fury that loves to kill
Director
John CarpenterCast
Keith Jordan
Harry Dean Stanton
John Stockwell
Alexandra Paul
Robert Prosky
I have three gods in my pantheon: Jim, Jimi and Herman. (That is, for those of you that are not American: Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix and Herman Brood.) All pantheons all need a degree of lesser gods, so there are: Stephen King, Freddy Mercury, Bobby Fischer, Ronnie O’Sullivan, Elon Musk [EDITOR’S NOTE: What is wrong […]