TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN PART 1
That wasn’t in the books at all. From what I understand, Stephanie Meyer wrote that Jacob stuck his dick in Bella, letting the baby bite the head and suck some blood out for nutrients.
BUCKAROO BANZAI
The movie starts out with a bunch of scientists in the desert farting around with a bunch of toys that would make a steam punk shoot butthole cream into his pantaloon.
DRIVE
It is here that I realized Gosling was a functioning retard the whole time. It was this twist that perhaps saved the movie.
JAWS IV – THE INDEFENSIBLE
The deep blue has killed more curious men than AIDS and Everest combined, which is why it’s the perfect setting for a horror/revenge flick.
COP AND A HALF
Burt Reynolds is a murdering sociopath pederast with a case of jungle fever, but his real flaw is that he’s a cop.
LIES AND ILLUSIONS (worst movie ever)
Lies and Illusions. It could be the title to a romance novel. The name of a Nickleback song. An 8th grader’s poem about society.
INSIDE POOP: L. RON MEXICO ACTUALLY WORKS AT A SEWAGE TREATMENT FACILITY
Here, our turds have become one. On a unified, peaceful accord. Insulated selfhood gives way into innate, homogenized harmony.
TALKIN’ ROLLER DERBY
If women, inferior to men in almost every physical aspect, could skate that fast, hit that hard, or could dust themselves off after taking a nasty tumble, what was I capable of? Imagine my own potential!
INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM
Back in the 1980′s, Google didn’t exist; therefore, nobody knew the truth about anything.
