The Lone Ranger Review

The Lone Ranger (2013)  Review: 149 minutes PG13 for scalping, cannibalism, skull crushing, decapitation, and genocide. The MPAA is a joke. A bloody, laughable farce. This film is  proof that a PG-13 rating is completely meaningless. The villain cuts the heart out of a law enforcement officer, and eats it! Hundreds of Comanche get mowed […]

Olympus Has Fallen Review

Synopsis

America vs. Giant Octopus

Director

Antoine Fuqua

Cast

Gerard Butler, Morgan Freeman, Aaron Eckhart, Radha Mitchell, Robert Forster (!), Angela Bassett, Dylan McDermott, Rick Yune, a bunch of Asian people who may or may not be Korean, Ashley Judd

How did they fit so much bullshit into one movie?

White House Down: Movie Review

Synopsis

Rookie Secret Service cadet Channing Tatum must team up with by-the-book President ‘Sawyer’ (Jamie Foxx) to fight a cabal of conservative terrorists (Blackwater Mercenary! Libertarian Hacker! Tea Party Racist!) in order to rescue Tatum’s nine year old daughter while blowing up as many iconic locations as possible.

Director

Roland Emmerich

Cast

Channing Tatum, Jamie Foxx, Joey Kings, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jason Clarke, Jimmi Simpson, Kevin Rankin, James Woods, Richard Jenkins, Matt Craven

Film Review: White House Down: If Obama killed terrorists with his own hands…   Tagline: It Will Start Like Any Other Day. Entire Story in One Sentence: President and Secret Service rookie fight terrorism by sequentially demolishing the White House room-by-room. Homoeroticism: Minimal. Both protagonists are given dialogue with their spouses/beards. Very little buddy cop […]

McCabe & Mrs. Miller: Classic Cinema Review

This ending is, of course, inevitable. In a dozen viewings, it has not once failed to bring at least a wet mist to my eyes. And yet…

Red Dawn (2012) Review

Heroes Are Made. In America.

Monsters University

Cinevorushorribili

The Lords of Salem

The Lords of Salem is a top-flight Satanic Panic film

Now You See Me

Film Review- Now You See Me 115 minutes – PG13 for cussing, slight violence   Chicanery is the art of forced perspective- the patter of the performer draws the eye of the audience, while the work is being done elsewhere to present the prestige of the trick. It is natural that for scriptwriters and directors […]

Man Of Steel

I typically don’t review first run movies as my low IQ combined with years of drug abuse, plus that time I fell out of a bunk bed as a kid, greatly diminish retention of what I just saw and I usually get lost in the plot anyway on the initial go round. It’s basically 90 […]

Ooga Booga

If D.W. Griffith had lived to make CHILD’S PLAY…