The Lone Ranger (2013) Review: 149 minutes PG13 for scalping, cannibalism, skull crushing, decapitation, and genocide. The MPAA is a joke. A bloody, laughable farce. This film is proof that a PG-13 rating is completely meaningless. The villain cuts the heart out of a law enforcement officer, and eats it! Hundreds of Comanche get mowed […]
America vs. Giant Octopus
Gerard Butler, Morgan Freeman, Aaron Eckhart, Radha Mitchell, Robert Forster (!), Angela Bassett, Dylan McDermott, Rick Yune, a bunch of Asian people who may or may not be Korean, Ashley Judd
Rookie Secret Service cadet Channing Tatum must team up with by-the-book President ‘Sawyer’ (Jamie Foxx) to fight a cabal of conservative terrorists (Blackwater Mercenary! Libertarian Hacker! Tea Party Racist!) in order to rescue Tatum’s nine year old daughter while blowing up as many iconic locations as possible.
Channing Tatum, Jamie Foxx, Joey Kings, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jason Clarke, Jimmi Simpson, Kevin Rankin, James Woods, Richard Jenkins, Matt Craven
Film Review: White House Down: If Obama killed terrorists with his own hands… Tagline: It Will Start Like Any Other Day. Entire Story in One Sentence: President and Secret Service rookie fight terrorism by sequentially demolishing the White House room-by-room. Homoeroticism: Minimal. Both protagonists are given dialogue with their spouses/beards. Very little buddy cop […]
Film Review- Now You See Me 115 minutes – PG13 for cussing, slight violence Chicanery is the art of forced perspective- the patter of the performer draws the eye of the audience, while the work is being done elsewhere to present the prestige of the trick. It is natural that for scriptwriters and directors […]