I’ve come to an unassailable generalization. Every Christmas movie with “Elf or Elves” in the title is going to be horrible and without redemption, campy or otherwise. The opening “teaser” (more like snoozer) scene lasted 6 minutes and consisted of two young boys sitting in a dark room with that awful piano, bang-bang one chord […]
Elves (2018)
December 5, 2020 by
Film Title
ElvesSynopsis
Ancient Elves locked in a chest only come out at Christmas.
Director
Jamaal BurdenCast
Who Cares?
Godmothered
December 4, 2020 by
Film Title
GodmotheredSynopsis
Will Farrell with a magic wand and a pink dress
Director
Sharon MaguireCast
Isla Fisher
Julian Bell
Mary Elizabeth Ellis
Stephnie Weir
Santiago Cabera
Oh no. Uh oh. I haven’t even asked a question yet. Was it a bad movie? Yes. Don’t watch it people. Don’t watch it. We didn’t even finish the movie. You didn’t even finish the movie? What was so bad about it? First thing is it didn’t have a villain. Second thing is it doesn’t […]
Christmas Story – a.k.a. (Joulutarina)(2007/Finnish)
December 4, 2020 by
Film Title
Christmas StorySynopsis
A Finnish tale of how Santa Claus came into being
Director
Jahu WuolijokiCast
Hannu-Pekka Bjorkman
Kari Vaananen
Otto Gustavsson
Minna Haapkyla
Mikko Kouki
This is not A Christmas Story, the greatest Christmas Movie ever make, but a charming, unique and very watchable Finnish version of how Santa Claus came into being. Like the Netflix classic Klaus, Christmas Story is not another cheesy and lame “save Christmas” film, but one that creates Christmas, with absolutely no mention of the […]
Fatman (2020)
December 2, 2020 by
Film Title
FatmanSynopsis
A 12 year old punk hires a hit-man to snuff out Santa. Santa is no amused.
Director
Eshom & Iam NelmsCast
Mel Gibson
Walton Goggins
Marianne Jean-Baptiste
Chance Hurstfield
Robert Bockstael
The subversive Christmas movie is nothing new in cinema. Every year, profound wits declare that they and they alone have discovered the shocking truth that Die Hard is, in fact, a Christmas movie. Taking it a bit further, nearly every action movie written by the great Shane Black (Lethal Weapon, The Long Kiss Goodnight, etc) […]
We’re No Angels (1955)
December 2, 2020 by
Film Title
We're No AngelsSynopsis
Three escapees from Devil’s Island are master con men, and help out a kind merchant and his family.
Director
Michael CurtizCast
Humphrey Bogart
Aldo Ray
Peter Ustinov
Joan Bennett
Basil Rathbone
Leo G. Carroll
Lea Penman
Here at Ruthless we love our readers, especially when they give us suggestions about great movies to review. We’re No Angels is a light-hearted and unusual Christmas type movie staring the iconic Humphrey Bogart. O.K., it wasn’t a great movie as such, but considering that the film is 65 years old, it holds up quite […]
Dr. Suess’s Ron & Jim Ruined Christmas
November 30, 2020 by
Several times while watching the Ron Howard-directed How the Grinch Stole Christmas, I found myself wondering, “Who is this even for?” At 105 minutes, it’s a bit on the long side for kids small enough to actually enjoy Jim Carrey’s manic, over-the-top turn as the title character, and the whole thing is far too ugly […]
Mixed Nuts (1994)
November 28, 2020 by
Film Title
Mixed NutsSynopsis
This movie should have been career suicide for all involved
Director
Nora EphronCast
Steve Martin
Madeline Kahn
Robert Klein
Juliette Lewis
Steven Wright
Rob Reiner
Liev Schreiber
Rita Wilson
Garry Shandling
Haley Joel Osment
Here we have a Christmas Movie about a Suicide Hotline. Doesn’t this sound deliciously hilarious? Well, it’s not. What this movie is, is a big steaming pile of rancid Christmas pudding, mixed with arsenic sauce. It is not humor, it is not dark humor or satire, it is just 1 hr:33 minutes of stupidity, but […]
The Christmas Chronicles 2
November 25, 2020 by
Film Title
The Christmas Chronicles 2Synopsis
Yet again, Christmas must be saved from a bitter troublemaker
Director
Chris Columbus (I'm not kidding)Cast
Kurt Russell
Goldie Hawn
Darby Camp
Julian Dennison
I got the notification yesterday that The Christmas Chronicles 2 was available for immediate streaming at Netflix. I didn’t know whether or not to rejoice or cringe. I don’t want to poison the well, but let’s face it. Christmas sequels have not historically been successful. Most, like Bad Santa 2 and the unwatchable A Christmas […]
A Midnight Clear
November 24, 2020 by
Film Title
A Midnight ClearSynopsis
A Christmas drama plays out during WW2 as both the Germans and the Americans just want to survive.
Director
Keith JordanCast
Ethan Hawke
Gary Sinise
Peter Berg
Arye Gross
Frank Whaley
John C. McGinley
Larry Joshua
Curt Lowens
I love Christmas Movies and there are few that actually make me cry. There are tears of joy, tears of grief, and tears from the sheer excellence of an event that you witness. A Midnight Clear was all of these and more. I want to give a special thanks to one of our biggest fans […]
Christmas In July -or- It’s Not Even July Yet: I’ll Do Anything To Get My Mind Off Of Covid & Assassination Of Blacks Edition (Even Christmas)
June 4, 2020 by
The Christmas Season is again over as a New Year approaches. Yet again, the imaginary and paranoid “War On Christmas” has failed to materialize, just like the last prediction of the Rapture. The Religiously Impaired™ will never learn, will they? Of course, that is not important now. What is important is a reflection on the […]
