Land of Mine (sandet) 1 hour 40 minutes, R for extreme bodily mutilation. Fair Value of Land of Mine: $9.00. It falls in a middle range of films about ordnance disposal, better than The Hurt Locker but not as good as Bravo Two Zero. The Summer Camp from Hell: To the innocents are bequeathed the […]
Film TitleLand of Mine (sandet)
German POW’s are forced to clear beaches of land mines
Film TitleBeauty and the Beast (2017)
Disney proves, yet again, that you don’t actually care about how many reboots, remakes, sequels, or franchise films there are.
I get that I am not the audience for Beauty and the Beast. I am not a fan of musicals. I am not a ten-year-old girl who doesn’t care about plot holes or young women being held against their will. I do not find buffaloes attractive, not even rich, royal buffaloes. I do not care […]
Film TitleThe Red Turtle
The dialogue-less film follows the major life stages of a castaway on a deserted tropical island populated by turtles, crabs and birds.
DirectorMichael Dudok de wit
The Red Turtle 90 minutes, Rated G Fair Value of The Red Turtle:$9.00. Beautiful art and animation at a languid pace. Is this film worth my time? Do you like the idea of Herge, Miyazaki, and Gauguin working together? This film is a moving picture in the truest sense, a 90 minute montage of art. […]
Film TitleKong: Skull Island
Monkey see, monkey kill.
Samuel L. Jackson
John C. Reilly
After nearly forty years living on Earth, it’s not often that movies surprise me, but when they do it’s like I’m eight years old at Christmas again. When you’re an adult opening presents, you almost always know what’s inside that wrapping paper, but when you’re eight, that package could contain anything from an action figure […]
A Silent Movie about a gay, black, celibate drug dealer
Alex R. Hibbert
After the biggest and most ridiculous gaff in Oscar history (If you’re working or driving, don’t text), Moonlight was belatedly awarded the coveted Best Picture Oscar, not by Warren Beatty, but by the gracious director of La La Land. The pressure to love and praise the 2017 Best Film was beyond irresistible. After all, I […]
Everyone knows the world’s sexiest people lived in 19th century Britain.
A necessary word of caution for anybody expecting even a few words flirting with the warm, comfortable familiarity of the “Is Stephen King good or Isn’t He” diametric war of attrition. Typically, to the utter despair of anybody unfortunate enough to be close enough to listen, I’m happy – delighted even – to hold forth […]
Film TitleTable 19
The longest wedding reception ever.
As we discussed our opinions of Table 19 following its screening, one person mentioned that there are hardly any romantic comedies being made these days. After thinking about it for a moment, I realized the only one I could think of from 2016 was Deadpool. It is too a romantic comedy, just a guy’s romantic […]
Wolverine fights old age, an old man, a ten-year old, a terminator arm, and himself.
Richard E. Grant
As I’ve said on multiple occasions, you probably aren’t going to find more of a Wolverine homer than yours truly. I inexplicably told you to see X-Men Origins: Wolverine twice and gushed about The Wolverine without mentioning how kind of terrible the Silver Samurai was portrayed (though I stand by The Wolverine being an excellent […]
Film TitleGet Out
When a couple visits the girlfriend’s parents, interracial dating is set back 75 years as a mind is a terrible thing to waste.
Caleb Landry Jones
Get Out is a masterpiece of impossibility made into a wonderful horror movie. It is a first time effort by writer and director Jordan Peele who is a comedy writer known for the TV series Key and Peele and a few other things. How about a great horror thriller with elements of The Stepford Wives, […]