The 2017-2018 NFL Preseason Notes: Gang Green and Radiation in Your Cheese Edition

Ruthless regrets to inform you that recently-installed NFL pick columnist J.J. Duquesne (b. Jay Jay Duquesne, Pangaea, Me Decade) is no more, having gone into absolute, unmitigated shock this week when informed that we are now flirting with a nuclear war. This is in spite of repeatedly being told that North Korea would not be […]

The Road Warrior (1981)

Film Title

The Road Warrior (1981)

Synopsis

In a dystopian, post-apocalyptic world, they don’t need the girl, and nothing escapes.

Director

George Miller

Cast

Mel Gibson
Bruce Spence
Vernon Wells
Max Phipps
Emil Minty
Michael Preston
Virginia Hey
William Zappa
Kjell Nillson

The Road Warrior (1981). I have no explanation as to why this movie is not in the Ruthless Reviews Movie Archive. Jonny or Matt probably reviewed it and it just somehow didn’t make it over in the 2006 reboot of the site. No matter, a movie of this importance I must review, and of course […]

Wind River

Film Title

Wind River

Synopsis

A hunter and an FBI agent show tribal police how to solve murders.

Director

Taylor Sheridan

Cast

Jeremy Renner
Elizabeth Olsen
Graham Greene
Gil Birmingham
Kelsey Asbille
Jon Bernthal

The Great White Hunter The last shot of the movie Wind River has a title card stating that no data is kept tracking the number of missing Native American girls. This is a strange way to end a movie that isn’t about missing girls, but is about solving the murder of a Native American girl. […]

Masters of the Universe (1987)

Film Title

Masters of the Universe (1987)

Synopsis

He-Man Dolph battles Skeletor for control of the universe.

Director

Gary Goddard

Cast

Dolph Lungren
Frank Langella
Meg Foster
Billy Barty
Courtney Cox
Chelsea Field
James Tolkan

Masters of the Universe (1987) is not really considered an 80’s Action movie except for the overwhelming presence of one Dolph Lundgren. This puts things over the top and into perspective. Like Arnold, Dolph is Adonis, a God, and must be treated as such. The movie sucked at the time, but there were several great […]

THE DARK TOWER: Sorry Stephen King, you are just wrong.

Film Title

The Dark Tower

Synopsis

This is The Dark Tower for Dummies

Director

Nikolaj Arcel

Cast

Jake Chambers-Tom Taylor
Roland Deschain-Idris Elba
Man In Black-Matthew McConaughey
Laurie Chambers-Katheryn Winnick
Dennis Haysbert-Steven Deschain

In regards to THE DARK TOWER, I think that Stephen King is becoming more deluded and less picky as he grows older. The author, who hated the film adaptation of THE SHINING, (he had some good points) has, incredibly, given the recent dim and dismal adaptation his blessing. This, from a man who called THE […]

The 2017-2018 NFL Pre-Season Notes-Baseball Sucks Edition

  Ahoy-Hoy fellow Ruthless Review aficionados! I’m J.J., your provisional NFL pickery columnist for the upcoming 2017-18 season. This is given because the legendary Dick is now occupied over at some thingie called A Real Job. He did work for a place called Entertainment and Sports Programming Networks – whatever the hell that is? Plexico […]

The Dark Tower

Film Title

The Dark Tower

Synopsis

A kinda, sorta, vague adaptation of bits and pieces of Stephen King’s Dark Tower series.

Director

Nikolaj Arcel

Cast

Idris Elba
Matthew McConaughey
Tom Taylor
Jackie Earle Haley
Abbey Lee Kershaw

Adapt at your own risk. Let’s just get this out of the way right now. If you are a fan of Stephen King’s The Dark Tower series, at the very least, you are probably going to be disappointed in the movie The Dark Tower. At the very most, you’re going to be pissed off for […]

THE ABC’s of TRAVELING -The Joys of Flying Edition

Apparently no Mamava Pod at this airport Atlanta – Everyone has heard the old adage, “Even if you are traveling to Hell, you have to go through Atlanta first”. If you are flying in the Eastern part of The United States, this is an accurate assessment. Worse still is if you ever have to actually […]

The Emoji Movie

Film Title

The Emoji Movie

Synopsis

The best proof yet that our species is nothing more than a waste of a good meteor.

Director

Tony Leondis

Cast

T.J. Miller
Steven Wright
Beelzebub
The death of all hope
Patrick Stewart

Editor’s Note: Sometimes we request that our writers do horrible things. Sometimes they actually do them. The Emoji Movie is rated 1.5/10.0 at IMDB and has a score of 12/100 from Metacritic. Al actually watched and reviewed this awful movie. It’s around twenty minutes into the feature and I feel the panic begin to set […]

Atomic Blonde

Film Title

Atomic Blonde

Synopsis

An MI6 agent is tasked with Ethan Hunt’s first mission while set to awful music.

Director

David Leitch

Cast

Charlize Theron
James McAvoy
John Goodman
Sofia Boutella
Eddie Marsan
Toby Jones
James Faulkner
Roland Miller

Confusion and breasts. It’s not often that I’m completely confused by my feelings for a movie, but Atomic Blonde is one of those instances. My immediate reaction at the end of the movie was “I think I liked it? Maybe?” It definitely had elements I liked and there weren’t any obvious (at least to me) […]