The Equalizer 2

Film Title

The Equalizer 2

Synopsis

Denzel kills people in far less interesting ways than last time.

Director

Antoine Fuqua

Cast

Denzel Washington
Pedro Pascal
Melissa Leo
Ashton Sanders
Bill Pullman

Discount Batman. After having just watch the MLB All-Star game, my mind was focused on trivial facts. Baseball is full of them. One running joke in my house is whenever my wife overhears a baseball announcer rambling about some statistic, she will add on something like “during day games on a Tuesday in leap years.” […]

Skyscraper

Film Title

Skyscraper

Synopsis

Stupid Die Hard.

Director

Rawson Marshall Thurber

Cast

Dwayne Johnson
Neve Campbell
Pablo Schreiber
Byron Mann
Chin Han
Tzi Ma
Hannah Quinlivan
Roland Moller
McKenna Roberts
Noah Taylor

It wasn’t me. It was the one-legged man. “It is good to see the Chinese are embracing the shittiest aspects of American cinema, just like us Americans.” – Me, minutes after the conclusion of Skyscraper. Before you start furiously typing a comment about how Skyscraper is not meant to be an Oscar winner, I know. […]

Ant-Man and the Wasp

Film Title

Ant-Man and the Wasp

Synopsis

Wasp shows Ant-Man how to kick some quantum ass.

Director

Peyton Reed

Cast

Paul Rudd
Evangeline Lilly
Hannah John-Kamen
Michael Douglas
Michelle Pfeiffer
Laurence Fishburne
Walton Goggins
Michael Pena
Judy Greer
Bobby Cannavale
Abby Ryder Forston

Back to the future. With the box office disappointment of Solo: A Star Wars Story, Disney executives are freaking out. Star Wars has reliably been a billion-dollar-per-movie enterprise since Disney purchased Lucasfilm, and anything less is the equivalent of the New England Patriots failing to win the Super Bowl. In other words, completely unacceptable. Heads […]

Sicario: Day of the Soldado

Film Title

Sicario: Day of the Soldado

Synopsis

Does anyone even remember what a Sicario is?

Director

Stefano Sollima

Cast

Josh Brolin
Benicio del Toro
Isabela Moner
Catherine Keener
Jeffrey Donovan
Matthew Modine
Manuel Garcia-Rulfo
Elijah Rodriguez

Whistling at dogs. Note to readers: I have tried to keep politics out of my movie reviews, but when viewing Sicario: Day of the Soldado, the film’s politics are impossible to ignore given recent events. Thus, it is impossible not to write about politics here. A list of current events in the United States includes: […]

Libertarians of the World, Unite

We are well aware of the libertarian approach to life in general: get the government off our backs and people will unite to effect civilizational progress. There are three basic difficulties with this approach. First, it assumes that people working together will unite for the common good instead of for the good of those so […]

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Film Title

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Synopsis

This time we light the bird’s ancestors on fire

Director

J.A. Bayona

Cast

Chris Pratt
Bryce Dallas Howard
Rafe Spall
James Cromwell
Ted Levine
Justice Smith
Daniella Pineda
Toby Jones
Jeff Goldblum
BD Wong
Isabella Sermon

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is 2 hrs 8 minutes, PG-13 for maiming and people get used as chew toys Basic Concept: Jurassic Park, except this time we light the dinosaurs on fire. What? There’s a volcano erupting on the Jurassic Park island, and so, you have a lot of stampeding dinosaurs that may also be […]

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Film Title

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Synopsis

Finding news way to suck the fun out of dinosaurs.

Director

J.A. Bayona

Cast

Chris Pratt
Bryce Dallas Howard
Rafe Spall
James Cromwell
Ted Levine
Justice Smith
Daniella Pineda
Toby Jones
Jeff Goldblum
BD Wong
Isabella Sermon

How to train your dinosaur (or, A steaming pile). “I am never mad at the end of movies. All I wanted from this movie was to be entertained and it could not even do that. And, I liked A Wrinkle in Time. Well, at least until I started thinking about it.” – My friend, after […]

Fancy Yourself as a Builder of Empires? Try Throne: Kingdom at War

Freemium MMOs are all the rage right nowbut there are so many out there it can be hard to choose which one to play. The common themes are crafting, gathering resources, building up settlements, and venturing out to conquer other game areas. But, to be truly gripping, the game should have an engaging theme which […]

Incredibles 2

Film Title

Incredibles 2

Synopsis

Mr. Incredible babysits while Elastigirl saves the world

Director

Brad Bird

Cast

Samuel L. Jackson
Holly Hunter
Craig T. Nelson
Sarah Vowell
Bob Odenkirk
Catherine Keener

1 Hour 34 Minutes, G Special Warning: Incredibles 2 has scenes with bright high-intensity flashing patterns that may induce epileptic episodes. Also, this film is chock full of subliminal messages (courtesy of the villain)- if you believe in the effect of subliminals, this is a film to avoid. Fair Value Rating of The Incredibles 2: […]

Hotel Artemis

Film Title

Hotel Artemis

Synopsis

A nurse runs a secret, members-only E. R. for criminals.

Director

Drew Pearce

Cast

Jodie Foster
Sterling K. Brown
Sofia Boutella
Jeff Goldblum
Dave Bautista
Zachary Quinto

Hotel Artemis is likely to be one of the obscure gems of the summer of 2018. Its a wonderful peanut-butter and chocolate combination of genres: cyberpunk and the Grand Hotel genre. Hotel Artemis is a well acted ensemble piece, nimbly juggling multiple sub-plots and capers, making the most of an enclosed and limited set. Give […]