Cat People (1982 Schrader version)- Film Review

Synopsis

Orphaned Irena Gallier (Nastassia Kinski) is overjoyed to be re-united with her brother Paul (Malcolm McDowell) in New Orleans. She soon finds a job working at the zoo, and a love interest in the kind zoo-keeper Oliver Yates (John Heard). Unfortunately, her family history throws more than the usual complications into doing the horizontal tango…

Director

Paul Schrader

Cast

Nastassia Kinski
Malcolm McDowell
John Heard
Annette O'Toole
Ruby Dee
Ed Begley

Cat People (1982Schrader version) rated R for maiming, mauling, and oh so much nudity

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters Review

Synopsis

Trying Too Hard 101

Director

Tommy Wirkola

Cast

Jeremy Renner, Gemma Arterton, Famke Janssen

No.

WSOP: The Masses Descend On Vegas

Every year thousands of poker fools come to Vegas for The World Series of Poker. Its mildly annoying.

Despicable Me 2: Film Review

Synopsis

Jumping a shark tied to high-explosive rockets into an active volcano….

Director

Pierre Coffin, Chris Renaud

Cast

Steve Carell, Gru
Miranda Cosgrove, Margo
Kristen Wiig, Lucy Wilde
Homer Simpson, Poochie

The Twinkie minions are given center stage, and their combination of gibberish speech and bumbling infighting makes the film fun.

The Lone Ranger Review

The Lone Ranger (2013)  Review: 149 minutes PG13 for scalping, cannibalism, skull crushing, decapitation, and genocide. The MPAA is a joke. A bloody, laughable farce. This film is  proof that a PG-13 rating is completely meaningless. The villain cuts the heart out of a law enforcement officer, and eats it! Hundreds of Comanche get mowed […]

Olympus Has Fallen Review

Synopsis

America vs. Giant Octopus

Director

Antoine Fuqua

Cast

Gerard Butler, Morgan Freeman, Aaron Eckhart, Radha Mitchell, Robert Forster (!), Angela Bassett, Dylan McDermott, Rick Yune, a bunch of Asian people who may or may not be Korean, Ashley Judd

How did they fit so much bullshit into one movie?

2013 NBA Draft: Expert Breakdown

The NBA draft is always one of my favorite spectacles, kids in funny suits awkwardly giving interviews. The embarrassing family members, the hot girl friends,

White House Down: Movie Review

Synopsis

Rookie Secret Service cadet Channing Tatum must team up with by-the-book President ‘Sawyer’ (Jamie Foxx) to fight a cabal of conservative terrorists (Blackwater Mercenary! Libertarian Hacker! Tea Party Racist!) in order to rescue Tatum’s nine year old daughter while blowing up as many iconic locations as possible.

Director

Roland Emmerich

Cast

Channing Tatum, Jamie Foxx, Joey Kings, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jason Clarke, Jimmi Simpson, Kevin Rankin, James Woods, Richard Jenkins, Matt Craven

Film Review: White House Down: If Obama killed terrorists with his own hands…   Tagline: It Will Start Like Any Other Day. Entire Story in One Sentence: President and Secret Service rookie fight terrorism by sequentially demolishing the White House room-by-room. Homoeroticism: Minimal. Both protagonists are given dialogue with their spouses/beards. Very little buddy cop […]

Red Dawn (2012) Review

Heroes Are Made. In America.

World War Z: Movie Review

America’s fascination with the zombie apocalypse continues. The latest vehicle to traverse the land of the undead is World War Z, starring Brad Pitt and some implausibly unattractive woman playing his wife. I had never seen her before, except maybe at a Waffle House. Anyway, let’s not allow her mediocre face to be the center […]