Father, why hast thou forsaken me?
LINDEL TOUPS JR. If there is one thing we love here in Louisiana, it’s prison. Not only are we the prison capital of the United States, we are the prison capital of the world. We incarcerate people at a rate five times that of Iran and thirteen times that of China. One in eighty-six Louisianians […]
Ultimately, the film feels more like the Ron Burgundy sketch show than a comedy film. But overall, it’s too disorganized, a grunting stream of non sequiturs thrown out in a desperate chase to dig every vein of comedy gold that can be found.
One of the textbooks symptoms of a bad sequel is one that tries to merely repeat what you liked about the film, while jostling you sharply in the ribs to remind you of what you once enjoyed.
Film TitleSanta Claus Conquers the Martians
John Call, Leonard Hicks, Vincent Beck, Bill McCutcheon, Pia Zadora
I stumbled upon this heaping pile of garbage by googling, “Worst holiday movies ever.”
Rape of wimpering woman in mid-night, the men forced to stand mute witness. Children forced screaming from mothers. Beatings until the bat breaks. Giant red rents festering on black backs as the cotton-worms crawl. That old Dixie charm, y’all.
Film TitleIt's a Wonderful Life
No, it’s a Terrible, Terrible Movie
It’s a Wonderful Life (1947) I rarely review movies that I genuinely detest, but I’m making an exception in this case. Think of this review as more of a warning than an assessment, if by some chance you have not watched this classic. I really dreaded re-watching the public domain issue of this pedestrian yawner […]
I get it, evil future dictators. You like gladiatorial death-matches because they allow you to entertain the public while slaying your opponents. Do you know a better way to kill those two mockingjays with one stone? Play the Benny Hill music as the soundtrack every time you televise an execution.
Orca II: The Quickening
Tilikum, some former Sea World trainers, various experts, and nobody currently affiliated with Sea World
Tilly, do you see the trainer in the window? I want you to see her because that’s my wife.
Itís metal. For your mom.