The Lone Ranger (2013) Review: 149 minutes PG13 for scalping, cannibalism, skull crushing, decapitation, and genocide. The MPAA is a joke. A bloody, laughable farce. This film is proof that a PG-13 rating is completely meaningless. The villain cuts the heart out of a law enforcement officer, and eats it! Hundreds of Comanche get mowed […]
Olympus Has Fallen Review
July 1, 2013 by
Synopsis
America vs. Giant Octopus
Director
Antoine FuquaCast
Gerard Butler, Morgan Freeman, Aaron Eckhart, Radha Mitchell, Robert Forster (!), Angela Bassett, Dylan McDermott, Rick Yune, a bunch of Asian people who may or may not be Korean, Ashley Judd
How did they fit so much bullshit into one movie?
2013 NBA Draft: Expert Breakdown
June 30, 2013 by
The NBA draft is always one of my favorite spectacles, kids in funny suits awkwardly giving interviews. The embarrassing family members, the hot girl friends,
White House Down: Movie Review
June 29, 2013 by
Synopsis
Rookie Secret Service cadet Channing Tatum must team up with by-the-book President ‘Sawyer’ (Jamie Foxx) to fight a cabal of conservative terrorists (Blackwater Mercenary! Libertarian Hacker! Tea Party Racist!) in order to rescue Tatum’s nine year old daughter while blowing up as many iconic locations as possible.
Director
Roland EmmerichCast
Channing Tatum, Jamie Foxx, Joey Kings, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jason Clarke, Jimmi Simpson, Kevin Rankin, James Woods, Richard Jenkins, Matt Craven
Film Review: White House Down: If Obama killed terrorists with his own hands… Tagline: It Will Start Like Any Other Day. Entire Story in One Sentence: President and Secret Service rookie fight terrorism by sequentially demolishing the White House room-by-room. Homoeroticism: Minimal. Both protagonists are given dialogue with their spouses/beards. Very little buddy cop […]
World War Z: Movie Review
June 24, 2013 by
America’s fascination with the zombie apocalypse continues. The latest vehicle to traverse the land of the undead is World War Z, starring Brad Pitt and some implausibly unattractive woman playing his wife. I had never seen her before, except maybe at a Waffle House. Anyway, let’s not allow her mediocre face to be the center […]
Now You See Me
June 21, 2013 by
Film Review- Now You See Me 115 minutes – PG13 for cussing, slight violence Chicanery is the art of forced perspective- the patter of the performer draws the eye of the audience, while the work is being done elsewhere to present the prestige of the trick. It is natural that for scriptwriters and directors […]
Man Of Steel
June 21, 2013 by
I typically don’t review first run movies as my low IQ combined with years of drug abuse, plus that time I fell out of a bunk bed as a kid, greatly diminish retention of what I just saw and I usually get lost in the plot anyway on the initial go round. It’s basically 90 […]
