Film Review: The Wolverine (2013)

Film Review: The Wolverine (2013)   126 Minutes, PG-13 for atomic devastation, seppukku, miscellaneous Japanese persons getting disemboweled. Fair Value Rating of The Wolverine: $11.50. Wolverine’s the best at what he does- and what he does is stabbing a lot of people.   Director James Mangold’s first superhero flick manages an entertaining midsummer adventure with […]

Spring Breakers Review

Synopsis

Everyone needs a little penis.

Director

Harmony Korine

Cast

James Franco, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Benson, Rachel Korine, Selena Gomez

“Why y’all actin’ ‘spicious?”

Orange Is The New Black: Netflix Review

A comedy/drama by the creator of Weeds shows us that the way forward for feminism is just admitting that women are ridiculous.

We Need More Women Comedians!

Women can’t throw. They just can’t. Everybody knows it. Yes, some of them can employ a strange underhanded windmill toss that strikes out a fellow bad driver on a softball field. That’s good for them, but your average dame couldn’t hit the broad side of Lindy West with a jar of pickles. Note: women can’t […]

Gloria Steinem’s “Songs of the Whispering Eye”: 80s Metal Classics that Heart the Ladies

The famous feminist dishes on the songs that changed her life.

Quigley Down Under: Classic Western

A real American hero with an Old West version of a sniper rifle takes on the great grandfather of Hans Gruber and becomes the white savior of the Australian aboriginal, all while…

Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor

Holy shit, Brandy has AIDS!

Red 2 Movie Review – Welcome to the Age of Geriatric Action

Film Title

Red 2

Synopsis

Retired CIA agents are accused of being nuclear terrorists. To avoid being killed, they must seek out a rogue nuke that was hidden in Moscow during the cold war.

Director

Dean Parisot

Cast

Bruce Willis
Mary-Louise Parker
John Malkovich
Helen Mirren
Sir Anthony Hopkins
Catherine Zeta-Jones
Byung-hun Lee
Brian Cox
Neal McDonough

If The Expendables was the final roar of a withered Tyrannosaurus Rex, Red 2 is more like a soft heave of breath as the dinosaur lays dying. Welcome to the decade of 100 male versions of Norma Desmond, all shot in bullet time. Welcome to the decade of geri-action.

British Junk Food: A User’s Guide

Amazing fact: The current commercial is about a busty MILF who lets her teenage son and his friends suckle on her teats. It got complaints.

Jack Reacher: Action Review

While he was doing memory exercises and push ups at the same time, we were watching football and masturbating at the same time. Now we join him in enjoying the fruits of his labor.