NFL Week 10: What’s The Difference Between Whinge and Moan Edition?

I’m in a tough spot. Despite literally working for Goat, the whole quick goat thinking concept is beyond me, so I am at a loss. Generally, the first paragraph is either a celebration or rumination regarding the games of the previous week. This is usually the paragraph for therapeutic cheer-leading or the tempering of expectations, […]

Terminator: Dark Fate: What Else?

Terminator: Dark Fate bears the visual stamp of James Cameron, regardless of the screen credit. Cameron understands a good action sequence is made with little bits of film; shots of only a few frames, that when edited together moves the action faster than the eye can behold, creating the action more in the mind of […]

Terminator: Dark Fate

Film Title

Terminator: Dark Fate

Synopsis

Same story. Different machine.

Director

Tim Miller

Cast

Linda Hamilton
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Mackenzie Davis
Gabriel Luna
Natalia Reyes

Have you seen this bo- …er, girl? Every franchise hits that point where it either has to start over, switch to prequels, or ignore much of what came before it in order to keep audiences coming back for more. The Alien franchise did it with Prometheus, choosing to go the prequel route. The Predator franchise […]

NFL Week 9: Deadspin’s Eulogy Edition

Hey, kids, have you enjoyed the strong back-to-back collections? If you’ve followed along the last two weekends, you are up ten units, and I absolutely love it. Since I make every bet I publish, I myself am riding the mini-wave. College has gone well too. Hell, back in Atlantic City I hit some genuinely big […]

A Junkie’s Guide To Addiction Recovery

Hello gang, my name is Devin. I was born in 1984, therefore I am what the media refers to as a millennial. I also have no fucking idea what that title means. I hate taking selfies, I’m not into what do kids refer to as, “Netflix and chill.” I can’t stand watching reality TV, and […]

What type of soldiers do other soldiers dislike?

One of the first things that strikes you when you join the military (especially if you are young and haven’t been away from home much) is the fact the armed services are a true melting pot. It was actually more like a melting pot mixed with the UN. We had white guys from the Midwest, […]

NFL Week 8: National Astronaut Baseball Edition

*lights go down* *awkward silence* *chubby bald man kicks door open* HIT MY MOTHER FUCKING MUSIC! That’s right, gang. First clean sweep of the year, and not a minute too soon. Obviously, cometh the fire, cometh the siren; this won’t happen every week. However, for the time being, or at least the length of this […]

The Lighthouse

Film Title

The Lighthouse

Synopsis

Nothing good can happen when 2 men are trapped in a giant phallus

Director

Robert Eggers

Cast

Willem DaFoe
Robert Pattinson
The Lighthouse
The Sea

After virtually giving up on movies this year, I was thrilled with Parasite and even more so with The Lighthouse. There are no words to adequately describe how terrifyingly haunting and beautiful this movie was. This film will wreck you. It is David Lynch, only on steroids, and with some Kubrick and Lovecraft for good […]

Maleficent: Mistress of Evil

Film Title

Maleficent: Mistress of Evil

Synopsis

Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Still with the same old formula.

Director

Joachim Ronning

Cast

Angelina Jolie
Elle Fanning
Michelle Pfeiffer
Harris Dickinson
Sam Riley
Chiwetel Ejiofor
Robert Lindsay

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. I am almost certain I have used that tagline on previous reviews, but can you blame me for repeating myself? The Princess Bride is a brilliant film with eminently quotable lines and that line in particular is just too […]

Downton Abbey (2019)

Film Title

Downton Abbey (2019)

Synopsis

The story of the Crawley family in the early 20th Century in England

Director

Michael Engler

Cast

Matthew Goode
Tuppance Middleton
Maggie Smith
Michael Dockery
Elizabeth McGovern
Kate Phillips
Allen Leech
Laura Carmichael

The Triumph of the Servant’s Hall It begins with news of a royal visit and ends with a waltz. In between you see romance, duty, honor, intrigue, respect for tradition and hope for the future. You hear that rarity in today’s movies, literate dialogue. It is a joy to watch. The cinematography has natural look […]