This is it, gang. I hereby cast before you all of the marbles. Every single marble. Even if you don’t play marbles. You’re getting the column relatively early, for me anyway, and you’re getting two picks. I can concede that we won’t get the best lines possible, but I’ve been following all week. Reason being […]
Can You Ever Forgive Me?
January 30, 2019 by
Film Title
Can You Ever Forgive Me?Synopsis
A formerly successful writer uses her skills for deception when times get hard
Director
Marielle HellerCast
Melissa McCarthy
Richard E. Grant
Jane Curtain
Dolly Wells
Stephen Spinella
I think the first time I encountered Richard Grant was in the movie A Christmas Carol. Grant played faithfully the role of Bob Cratchit, who was the clerk for the miser Scrooge ( Patrick Stewart). There was no greater tour de force, however, than the role he shredded as I in Withnail & I. This […]
Superheros, Baseball, and American Values
January 29, 2019 by
With the inevitable cancellation of Netflix’s The Punisher looming over fans of the gritty Marvel series, I’d like to take this time to talk about the real reason the streaming network is canning the entire Marvel Universe. It has nothing to do with pressure from Disney, and everything to do with American values. Last year, […]
The Kid Who Would be King
January 25, 2019 by
Film Title
The Kid Who Would be KingSynopsis
Patrick Stewart and four kids fight to stop Brexit.
Director
Joe CornishCast
Patrick Stewart
Rebecca Ferguson
Angus Imrie
Louis Ashbourne Serkis
Dean Chaumoo
Tom Taylor
Rhianna Dorris
Another legend in the toilet. Walking out of The Kid Who Would be King, I was mentally justifying it: my kid loved it (his exact words), and it is a movie for kids, so that’s all that matters…right? But parents have to sit through these movies too, so our opinions matter a little bit. A […]
Roma: Netflix Streaming
January 25, 2019 by
Film Title
RomaSynopsis
Short Mexicans have no reason to live
Director
Alfonso CuaronCast
Yalizta Aparicio
Marina del Tariva
Diego Cotina Autrey
Carlos Peralta
Marco Graf
Nancy Garcia Garcia
Veronica Garcia
Hundreds of shitting dogs
I am hard-pressed to think of a movie that has received so much hype, so much critical acclaim, and so many awards before the Oscars. Roma is not your typical highly anticipated movie at all. Alfonso Cuaron’s latest work is completely unique, and there is no existing template with which to judge or compare this […]
NFL Conference Championship Round
January 20, 2019 by
SPONSORED CONTENT WARNING: This week’s Ruthless NFL column is brought to you by #HotChicksForRuthlessNFLColumnists, a totally organic and grassroots movement by and for sexy ladies that is not, in any way, a hilariously inept attempt for a doughy, muttering, unshaven, easily distractible lawyer from New York City to cop a side piece over the internet. […]
Glass
January 19, 2019 by
Film Title
GlassSynopsis
A sequel to a 19 year old movie you forgot existed.
Director
M. Night ShyamalanCast
Bruce Willis
Samuel Jackson
James McAvoy
Sarah Paulson
Anya Taylor-Joy
Spencer Treat Clark
Insert broken pun here. One of the biggest mysteries in Hollywood is how M. Night Shyamalan still has an active directing and writing career. My friend and I pondered this question on our way to a screening of Shyamalan’s latest film, Glass. After The Village disappointed countless fans, Shyamalan rapid-fired four of the worst movies […]
NFL 2018 Divisonal Round
January 13, 2019 by
An angrier man would spit out some sort of ALL CAPS excoriation of the goofy ending to the Cowboys-Seahawks game, wherein a freak injury to a 40-year-old professional football player who we had just backhandedly complimented knocked down a domino that tumbled a set of circumstances leading to Seattle being forced to go for two, […]
My Year in Reviews – 2018 Edition
January 6, 2019 by
Resistance is futile. Is it just me or does 2018 feel like it has lasted about a hundred years? Between hurricanes, forest fires, racists, sexual harassers, gun massacres, and the systematic destruction of reason, decency, and ethical governing by the elephant party and the worst president this country has ever seen, I’m surprised aliens haven’t […]
NFL Playoffs: 2018 Wildcard Edition
January 5, 2019 by
If people are upset with that lady from Michigan calling Trump a motherfucker, they must not get out much, and they damn sure don’t read this publication. I think if anyone should be mad, it would be Dan Savage, who rebranded his old catchphrase DTMFA, an acronym for dump the motherfucker already, into ITMFA, and […]
