I’ve long acknowledged graduates from the Kelly McGillis Top Gun School of Absurd Roles and no one deserves a bigger pat on the back than Flashdance’s Alex Owens. I mean, name one other flick with a wannabe ballerina working as a welder in a Pennsylvanian steel mill. Not only that, but she appears to be […]
Starring Debuts #21: Jennifer Beals in Flashdance (1983)
Dreams can come true, but only if they start from the most unlikely place and someone powerful pulls a string or two.
Kyle T. Heffner
Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves
Film TitleDungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves
A Campaign worth playing
DirectorJohn Francis Daley/Jonathan Goldstein
The last serious attempt at a Dungeons & Dragons movie was in 2000, resulting in a critical and commercial bomb (10% on Rotten Tomatoes, grossing just $33.8 million on a $45 million budget) and a legion of angry dungeon masters. Impossibly, two direct-to-DVD sequels were filmed and released in 2005 and 2012, presumably as a […]
Film TitleLooper (2012)
Time travel, yet again. This time with goons.
Time travel really messes with your mind, doesn’t it? I mean, The Grandfather-paradox, Back to the Future, Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure: it just fucks with your idea of time. Like: what is it? Is it a steady stream, from the roiling past through this very present moment right here and now into the bright […]
5 Tips for Starting an Acting Career Later in Life
It’s always possible to follow your dreams and pursue a career in acting. Famous actors such as Samuel L. Jackson and Christoph Waltz, both started their successful careers after the age 40. Many successful actors started their careers later in life, proving that age is just a number when pursuing your passion. Whether you have […]
Spread Your Legs For Daddy: Part 4
Eyes Wide Shut (1999) The story: Cruise and Kidman mope through Kubrick’s flaccid finale. Does it make me wanna incorporate anything into my sex life? I guess you’re asking if I fancy an orgy, right? Well, I wouldn’t mind dipping a toe (fnar! fnar!) There is something appealing about turning up at an isolated country […]
An Astronaut makes the wrong turn and lands on a strange planet
DirectorScott Beck, Bryan Woods
It is a rare and special thing to have an entire movie theater to oneself. My most memorable one was actually with a friend, when we saw a restoration of 2001: A Space Odyssey in an otherwise empty auditorium. I still cannot fathom why only two tickets were sold to such an amazing movie at […]
Spread Your Legs For Daddy: Part 3
Secretary (2002) The story: A dominant, uptight lawyer (James Spader) employs a self-harming, subservient secretary (Maggie Gyllenhaal). Unconventional true love blooms. Does it make me wanna incorporate anything into my sex life? Lots of sexual relationships originate at work. It’s probably the number one place where people hook up. Most working days (those mundane, hateful […]
Memorable Movie Scenes: Part 43
Oh My Goat! What is more memorable than Eraserhead? How about an outrageous parody of the movie? This “Half man, half biscuit is ever bit as off the chain as the movie itself. Just enjoy.
John Wick: Chapter Four
Film TitleJohn Wick: Chapter 4
One thousand assassins dead, a zillion more to go.
“John Wick: Chapter 4” – One thousand assassins dead, a zillion more to go. “Once you kill him, then what?” a friend asks John Wick (Keanu Reeves). Great question. In the never-ending kill-box that is the John Wick universe, that question is the only time the franchise seems to realize that it has yet to […]
Spread Your Legs For Daddy: Part 2
Last Tango in Paris (1972) The story: In a cause celebre the Godfather tries a little anonymous humping. Bloody hell, now he’s the Prodfarther. Does it make me wanna incorporate anything into my sex life? “You don’t have a name and I don’t have a name, either,” Brando tells Maria Schnieder early on. “No names […]