Total Recall (1990)

Total Recall  Released: 1990 Tagline: They stole his mind, now he wants it back. Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence: Arnold breathes new life into Mutants, Midgets and Tits. Homoeroticism: Arnold was classic Arnold and he never disappoints us with his disdain for anything hetero. As the movie opened he was […]

Spiderman 5: Spiderman is Amazing, Part 2: The End of Cinema

Film Title

The Amazing Spiderman 2

Synopsis

Events occur.

Director

Marc Webb

Cast

Spiderman, Gwen Stacy, Electro, Harry Osborn, Rhino, The Sony Ad Wizards, Hilariously Awesome CGI Female-Ejaculated Straight Out Of That Ukrainian Prosecutor Lady's Vagina, Sally Field

Why is this happening?

Five PG Rated Movies That Mom Doesn’t Want You To See

Does your mom only let you watch PG rated movies? Tired of watching THE ASTRONAUT FARMER over and over again? Well kids…

Midnight Cowboy

Film Title

Midnight Cowboy

Synopsis

A love story wrapped around a ground-breaking film

Director

John Schlesinger

Cast

Dustin Hoffman
Jon Voight
Sylvia Miles
John McGiver
Brenda Vaccaro
Barnard Hughes
Ruth White
Jennifer Salt

MIDNIGHT COWBOY MOVIE REVIEW Movies have been often characterized as innovative, ground-breaking, trend-setting or wildly original, and these terms can be overused, but I cannot emphasize enough what a bold and courageous experiment in cinema was Midnight Cowboy. It is hard to comprehend that it has been 45 years since this Oscar-winning film was released, […]

Miami Vice TV Review: Part 1 (Why It’s Good)

Film Title

Miami Vice: TV Show

Synopsis

Drugs fund the war on drugs and pastel, penis shaped cars and boats.

Director

Michael Mann, Dick Wolf

Cast

Don Johnson
Philip Michael Thomas
Saundra Santiago
Olivia Brown
Michael Talbott
Edward James Olmos

What the hell were the people who made this thinking? They were thinking about making the greatest show of their time and for a long time after.

Heaven Is For Real

I believe heaven is laughter, and nothing made me feel closer to God than my bootlegged camcorder copy of Heaven Is For Real.

Oculus Interpretation

Potentially a classic. I can easily see myself flipping through the channels 20 years from now and being like, “ooooh, Oculus!”

The Canyons

Every once in a while, a movie comes along that is so moving, so powerful, that it leaves you feeling inspired. This is not that movie. Directed by Paul Schrader (who wrote Raging Bull – seriously!), The Canyons is a movie that is so awful that I feel dumber for having watched it. Maybe you […]

Captain America 2: The Winter Soldier

            Captain America 2: The Winter Soldier 136 Minutes, PG-13 Fair Value of Captain America 2: $18.00. A well paced spy thriller, equal parts James Bond and Jason Bourne, that juggles a relatively large roster of superheroes and super-villains well. The first sequel to really handle multiple super-villains well. An excellent […]

Noah: A Rant

This movie has already been reviewed, didn’t you read the magnificent review by Devon? Yes, I know, but this is something I feel compelled to do. Well, what is the problem? Seriously, I looked forward to this movie with glee, but that anticipation was quickly snuffed out in the first 5 minutes of the film. […]