X-Men: Days of Future Past Review

Film Title

X-Men: Days of Future Past

Synopsis

Wolverine’s Excellent Adventure.

Director

Bryan Singer

Cast

Every Single Character Fox Has The Rights To Except Psylocke And Her Ass.

Do you know what happens to bad movies when they’re struck by lightning?

Sharknado

Sharknado II here now! Yes, they are doing it again. Just when you think the Summer Season cannot get any worse, we will have the second installment of Sharknado, only this time the setting moves to New York City! Booyah! The other day I watched two really awful movies, but the difference in the two […]

Godzilla 2014 Review

Film Title

Godzilla

Synopsis

Monsters fight, destroying cities on God’s behalf.

Director

Gareth Edwards

Cast

Aaron Taylor-Johnson
CJ Adams
Ken Watanabe
Bryan Cranston
Elizabeth Olsen
Carson Bolde
Sally Hawkins
Juliette Binoche

Who are we little blobs of goo to complain about the occasional squishing?

Captain America: A Blockbuster for Blockheads

  OK, what is it this time? I was at the movies again yesterday afternoon. Well, good for you. I see you saw “Captain America: The Winter Soldier.” Wasn’t it FANTASTIC!! No, I hated almost every minute of it. What?  It scored 8.2 at IMDB and 70/100 from 44 professionals at Metacritic. It has grossed […]

What’s The Deal With Women In Horror Movies?

I thought of three primary reasons we like to watch girls chased around by maniacs.

Total Recall (1990)

Total Recall  Released: 1990 Tagline: They stole his mind, now he wants it back. Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence: Arnold breathes new life into Mutants, Midgets and Tits. Homoeroticism: Arnold was classic Arnold and he never disappoints us with his disdain for anything hetero. As the movie opened he was […]

Spiderman 5: Spiderman is Amazing, Part 2: The End of Cinema

Film Title

The Amazing Spiderman 2

Synopsis

Events occur.

Director

Marc Webb

Cast

Spiderman, Gwen Stacy, Electro, Harry Osborn, Rhino, The Sony Ad Wizards, Hilariously Awesome CGI Female-Ejaculated Straight Out Of That Ukrainian Prosecutor Lady's Vagina, Sally Field

Why is this happening?

Five PG Rated Movies That Mom Doesn’t Want You To See

Does your mom only let you watch PG rated movies? Tired of watching THE ASTRONAUT FARMER over and over again? Well kids…

Midnight Cowboy

Film Title

Midnight Cowboy

Synopsis

A love story wrapped around a ground-breaking film

Director

John Schlesinger

Cast

Dustin Hoffman
Jon Voight
Sylvia Miles
John McGiver
Brenda Vaccaro
Barnard Hughes
Ruth White
Jennifer Salt

MIDNIGHT COWBOY MOVIE REVIEW Movies have been often characterized as innovative, ground-breaking, trend-setting or wildly original, and these terms can be overused, but I cannot emphasize enough what a bold and courageous experiment in cinema was Midnight Cowboy. It is hard to comprehend that it has been 50 years since this Oscar-winning film was released, […]

Miami Vice TV Review: Part 1 (Why It’s Good)

Film Title

Miami Vice: TV Show

Synopsis

Drugs fund the war on drugs and pastel, penis shaped cars and boats.

Director

Michael Mann, Dick Wolf

Cast

Don Johnson
Philip Michael Thomas
Saundra Santiago
Olivia Brown
Michael Talbott
Edward James Olmos

What the hell were the people who made this thinking? They were thinking about making the greatest show of their time and for a long time after.