The Farmer’s Wife (1928)

Film Title

The Farmer's Wife

Synopsis

A middle-aged empty-nester has trouble finding another suitable mate

Director

Alfred Hitchcock

Cast

James Thomas
Lillian Hall-Davis
Gordon Harker
Gibb McLaughlin
Maude Gill
Louie Pounds

2 Hours 9 minutes Fair Value of The Farmer and His Wife: $0.00. In this early (1928) silent film, a young Hitchcock is both out of his element (mystery) and his medium (dialogue), and so this early drama is generic and basic, largely lacking in Hitchcock’s style. This is a snoozer. Summary of the Concept: […]

Vertigo (1958)

Film Title

Vertigo

Synopsis

A traumatized former police detective falls hopelessly in love with a woman who doesn’t exist

Director

Alfred HItchcock

Cast

Jimmy Stewart
Kim Novak
Barbara Bel Geddes
Tom Helmore
Ellen Corby

“The language of the camera is the language of our dreams.”-James Baldwin. No director was more fluent in that language than Alfred Hitchcock. Vertigo is the most conspicuous example of his fluency. Vertigo is a Pygmalion and Galatea story. The question in this case, who is Pygmalion and who is Galatea? When, is a better […]

20 Movies That Guys Love: Part One

Needless to say, all guys are different and therefore like different things. However, there are also things that unite them all, and are intrinsic to almost all men regardless of their age, location, race, etc. This thing is the best guy movies of all time!  This article seeks to provide you with a list of […]

Silver Bullet (1985)

Film Title

Silver Bullet

Synopsis

Gary Busey is Uncle Red…No more needs to be said

Director

Daniel Attias

Cast

Gary Busey
Everett McGill
Corey Haim
Megan Follows
Robin Groves
Leon Russom
Terry O'Quinn
Joe Wright

At the risk of gaining a reputation as some sort of lunatic who insists on reading way too much into the subtext of popular 80s movies, the 1985 werewolf movie Silver Bullet is about priests molesting children.  The “priest” in question here is actually a Reverend, which indicates he is not in fact a Catholic […]

Juno and the Paycock

Film Title

Juno and the Paycock

Synopsis

A family earns a big inheritance and forgets their basic values

Director

Alfred Hitchcock

Cast

Barry Fitzgerald
Sara Allgood
John Laurie

                                1 hour 34 minutes Fair Value of Juno and the Paycock: $-5.00. 1920s knockoff Bernard Shaw misery porn that lacks in much of the style or timing that Hitchcock would later display. This early Hitchcock film shows why he went to thrillers and suspense- it’s artless and heartless. Summary of the Concept: A poor […]

Blood Dragon: The Video Game

Tagline: Welcome to the Future. The Year is 2007. Entire Story in Fewer Words than are in this Sentence: Michael Biehn gives voice acting a go. Homoeroticism: Despite being a love letter to 80s action films, Blood Dragon has very little in this category. Our lead, Rex “Power” Colt, makes constant references to balls, but, […]

Earth Girls Are Easy (1988)

Film Title

Earth Girls Are Easy

Synopsis

Aliens and Furries in SoCal

Director

Julien Temple

Cast

Jeff Goldblum
Geena Davis
Jim Carrey
Damon Wayans
Julie Brown
Charles Rocket
Michael McKean


A few years after enacting a disgustingly doomed romance in The Fly, real-life husband-and-wife Jeff Goldblum and Geena Davis went on to play a similarly weird but much less doomed couple in Julien Temple’s 1988 cult classic Earth Girls Are Easy. Unlike The Fly, which was dark and deep enough to warrant speculation about its […]

Rest In Peace, Ennio Morricone

There was once a time where I wasn’t into movies. Believe it or not. That all changed when I watched The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. When I first heard Ennio Morricone’s score. The first odd and jangling notes pierced my ears. It wasn’t like any film score or any music I’d ever heard […]

Secret Agent (1936 Hitchcock film)

Film Title

Secret Agent

Synopsis

During World War One, a newly recruited British spy is dispatched to Switzerland to hunt unknown German agents.

Director

Alfred Hitchcock

Cast

John Gielgud
Madeleine Carroll
Peter Lorre
Robert Young
Percy Marmount

  1 hour 26 minutes Fair Value of Secret Agent: $2.00. If it’s streaming, it’s a good old timey punt, with amusing performances by Peter Lorre and John Gielgud Summary of the Concept: During World War I, a newly commissioned British spy is tasked with identifying and catching a German spy moving through Switzerland. What’s […]

Forrest Gump: The Movie We Love (To Loathe)

While Growing up, I was often asked about my opinions and recommendations on movies. I was sort of a go to guy for certain films with most people liking my opinions. In my almost 19 years of life, there has been one movie that has haunted my every step .(warning this essay will be exaggerated […]