Bumblebee

Film Title

Bumblebee

Synopsis

A girl and her robot car are chased by two other robot cars and it was not ruined by Michael Bay.

Director

Travis Knight

Cast

Hailee Steinfeld
John Cena
Pamela Adlon
John Ortiz
Stephen Schneider
Jason Drucker
Dylan O'Brien (Voice)
Angela Bassett (Voice)
Justin Theroux (Voice)
Peter Cullen (Voice)

Are we sure this is a Transformers movie? As Bumblebee unfolded before our eyes, I had to keep asking myself if my son and I were really watching a Transformers movie.  There were no racist versions of transformers.  The movie was not exploding every twelve seconds.  There were no robots or dogs trying to hump […]

Aquaman

Film Title

Aquaman

Synopsis

Aquaman sucks.

Director

James Wan

Cast

Jason Momoa
Amber Heard
Willem Dafoe
Patrick Wilson
Nicole Kidman
Dolph Lundgren
Yahya Abdul-Mateen II

Spoon-feeding with a comically oversized ladle. I did not think Warner Brothers and DC Films could make a worse movie than Green Lantern, but Aquaman is that movie.  The point at which Aquaman stepped on my last shred of hope was when the octopus played the drums.  I am not making that up.  You do […]

The Man Who Wasn’t There (2001)

Film Title

The Man Who Wasn't There (2001)

Synopsis

When your wife is having no sex with you, but plenty with her boss, drastic measures are taken.

Director

Ethan and Joel Coen

Cast

Billy Bob Thorton
Frances McDormand
Michael Badalucco
James Gandolfini
Scarlet Johansson
Tony Shalhoub
Jon Polito
Richard Jenkins

In her relatively small, but pivotal, role as Birdy Abundus (what a name!) in The Man Who Wasn’t There, she not only beguiled Billy Bob Thortons cuckolded, confused, and revengeful barber Ed Crane, but a much younger yours truly. It was a mature, impressive performance which hinted at the star she would become. It is […]

Widows

Film Title

Widows

Synopsis

I will have a political-heist-thriller with a twist.

Director

Steve McQueen

Cast

Viola Davis
Michelle Rodriguez
Elizabeth Debicki
Liam Neeson
Colin Farrell
Brian Tyree Henry
Daniel Kaluuya
Robert Duvall
Cynthia Erivo

I swear this movie could have been better. I could swear director Steve McQueen has a longer filmography. I could swear that he has done a whole slew of movies similar to Widows. If we are counting the more than twenty short films he has directed, we get to that slew, but I have definitely […]

NFL Week 15: Rocking Round the Xmas Tree Edition

NFL Week 15: Rocking Round the Xmas Tree Edition Welp, who dares wins, right? Breathe. Again. Relax. Were still at 500, and if you let Lamar Jackson’s told-em-so start cancel out the Chargers crossing the ten-win threshold, even the props roll back to zero. No excuses, of course, we don’t do that here. It is […]

Prohibition Loses Again with Repeal of PASPA

Sports betting fans in the US have a lot to be thankful for right now. For over two decades, they’ve been unconstitutionally robbed of a simple right that many hundreds of millions of people enjoy the world over. Thanks to the repeal of PASPA we’ll finally be able to enjoy the dual pleasures of watching […]

Inside Llewyn Davis (2013)

Film Title

Inside Llewyn Davis (2013)

Synopsis

A week in the life of a singer in the era that brought us Bob Dylan

Director

Ethan Coen/Joel Coen

Cast

Oscar Issac
Carey Mulligan
Justin Timberlake
Robin Bartlett
Adam Driver

Inside Llewyn Davis (2013) was, thankfully, one of the least whimsical of the Coen Brothers films; a story of ellipses and evasions, chronicling not the expected rise and fall of a folk musician, but simply a moment in time now lost to history. More a character adrift than one with an ultimate destination. Unlike the […]

Mountain (2017)

Film Title

Mountain (2017)

Synopsis

Humans climb and hurtle down their slopes, but the mountains are not impressed

Director

Jennifer Peedom

Cast

Willem DaFoe (Narrator)
Various other humans

Mountain (2017) Before I wind up the 2018 Ruthless Christmas Reviews, I’m taking a brief break. This review continues our reviews about mountains and humans that try to climb them. In his recent review, Kevin continued the Ruthless disdain for mountain climbers, rock climbers and other dare-devils that foolishly fuck with Mother Nature with Free […]

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

Film Title

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

Synopsis

A troupe of Spider-Persons try to save the universe.

Director

Bob Persichetti, Peter Ramsey, Rodney Rothman

Cast

Shameik Moore
Jake Johnson
Hailee Steinfeld
Mahershala Ali
Brian Tyree Henry
Lily Tomlin
Zoe Kravitz
John Mulaney
Kimiko Glenn
Nicholas Cage
Kathryn Hahn
Liev Schreiber
Chris Pine

The best animated feature of the year? I was not planning on going to see Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse. I assumed it was going to be a throw-away film aimed specifically at comic book nerds to make an easy buck. Then, my wife asked if I was taking our six-year old son and, before I […]

NFL Week 14: TV Is The Tie That Binds Edition

All that work for nothing. All of that studying, number crunching, and 1863 words about minor league football later and we wind up with the ole Chuck Woolery. Did you know that hes an asshole now? I didn’t, until I had to find something to slap into the outbound link box. I’m not exactly surprised, […]