Category: Features
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Regrets
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Read more: RegretsFresh off another round of treatment – not the noble, heroic, radiator treatment… but, you know, the other kind, I’ve been ruminating on a number of things. Specifically, regrets. Ways I’ve hurt others. Or, as those who have made to higher levels of Grand Theft Suboxone than me, the 9th Step. In most rehabs, addicts…
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Confessions Of A Condiment King -or- Why Goat Revoked Ezra’s Key To The Break Room At Ruthless Towers
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Read more: Confessions Of A Condiment King -or- Why Goat Revoked Ezra’s Key To The Break Room At Ruthless TowersGreetings, citizens of Gotham! It is I, Buddy Standler, the Condiment King! You mayo may not have heard my fearsome moniker before…. Oh, come now, you mustard of me at least once or twice. Well, please endeavor to ketchup and follow along, for mine is a tale to relish! I may not be one of…
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Big Trouble In Little China (1986)
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Read more: Big Trouble In Little China (1986)Homoeroticism? None. Oh, boy, we need to talk. O.K., there was a weak attempt at redemption at the end when Jack didn’t even kiss his green-eyed girl goodbye, but by then all hope was lost. It’s complicated and confusing as we had an 80s action duo that usually meant love at first sight, but it…
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What Happens At A Timeshare Presentation? Look Into The Mouth Of Hell
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Read more: What Happens At A Timeshare Presentation? Look Into The Mouth Of HellWe were engulfed in a lake of slime and filth so vile that it would tarnish every amenity promised to us.
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Madison Rising: Music Review
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Read more: Madison Rising: Music ReviewIt’s Metal…For your Mom. Back in the day, the only day that ever really mattered, the 1980s, heavy metal music was about the only way, absent an errant missile strike by the Soviet Union, for young people to watch their oppressors suffer, be they parent, teacher, Congressman, or cop. While their pursed lips, crooked fingers,…
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2001: A Space Odyssey Review and Redux
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Read more: 2001: A Space Odyssey Review and ReduxI bought a motorcycle helmet at a garage sale, and I don’t own a motorcycle. One man’s safety device is another man’s pretend space helmet.
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The Wet House
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Read more: The Wet HouseThe Wet House -A Documentary by Penny Woolcock (2002) This is an incredibly hard to watch hour-long documentary on housing formerly homeless Drunks. I don’t use the word Drunks flippantly or judgmentally, that’s exactly what these people are. There is not the slightest hint of rehab here and no pretense at all about these down-and-out…
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The Metric System Is Stupid
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Read more: The Metric System Is StupidThe metric system is, of course, based on measuring everything using the circumference of the earth. Why? Well, we do live on planet earth. But other than that it is… guess what? Arbitrary as shit!
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The Thin Red Line
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Read more: The Thin Red LineThe Thin Red Line is a war movie colossus based on the autobiographical novel by James Jones. The film was universally lauded by critics and nominated for 7 Academy Awards. It also runs for 2 hours and 50 minutes and is loaded with just about every male star you can imagine. This movie is beautifully…
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The Lost Weekend
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Read more: The Lost WeekendThe Wet House provides a judgment-free atmosphere for drunks, but there was no such thing in the world of this ground-breaking movie that was made in 1945. Don Birnam is a part-time writer and a full time, 24-carat alcoholic. For someone like Don Birnam, the judgment was EVERYWHERE, his supporting brother, to a lesser extent…