E3 2015: A GODDAMN SLOBBERKNOCKER

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E3 2015: A GODAMN SLOBBERKNOCKER “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, STOP THE DAMN TRADE SHOW!” Hear ye, hear ye! Now comes the time for Electronic Entertainment Expo XXI, the 21st yearly celebration of marketing hyperbole, awkward stage presentations, and crazy ambitious promises (that companies will never be able to keep). Dates: June 16-18, 2015 Main Event: Facebook/Oculus […]

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of Americana

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Goat at House on the Rock As many of you know, I just completed a nice road trip, a 2,000 mile journey through Wyoming, South Dakota, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Iowa and Nebraska. According to the world of Matt Cale there is no bad Americana, but I beg to differ. I present, the Good, the Bad, and […]

Language of the Unheard

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The original article can be viewed on Patheos here By now, almost everyone is acquainted with the story of Freddie Gray’s inexcusable death, a mysterious occurrence that took place while Gray was in custody of Baltimore police. This tragedy– a word I’ve grown weary of reciting but is nonetheless applicable– sadly adds to the ever-burgeoning […]

THE ABCs OF BBQ-Smoking the meat edition

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VERSES OF BBQ Salvations 1:1 Verily,verily I say unto thee, an open flame shall not touch thy cooking flesh or thine days will be numbered before you are cast into the lake of ire. Goatesians 1:2-4 The only way to the BBQ is with the meat. It is blasphemous and very naughty in my wholly […]

The Top 10 Most Outrageous YouTube Eating Channels

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YouTube. The Morphine Drip of the Internet. The Alpha and the Omega, the amazon dot com of anything and everything, you will find it there. I know that this list leaves off things like Epic Meal Time and other worthy dumpsters for the eyeballs, but too bad, it is what it is. It is just […]

Pizza Sucks

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Science proves it.

Rep Jason Chaffetz – “Imprisoning People For Weed Is Good!”

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Rep. Jason Chaffetz wants to jail people who use weed and jail politicians who don’t want to jail people who use weed.

Game Of The Year 2014

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Game of the Year 2014 (And other unfashionably late awards) INTRODUCTION: THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN DONE IN LIKE DECEMBER. I WAS TOO BUSY PLAYING BEEP BOOP PEW PEWS EATING DORY TOES AND REPLACING MY BLOOD WITH MOUNTAIN DEW HILL WATER VIA DIALYSIS. I ALSO WAS HAVING TOO MUCH FUN OPPRESSING BOTH MY OWN BROODMARE AND […]

THE ABCs OF GLOBAL WARMING-Climate Change Edition

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The ABCs of Global Warming-Climate Change Edition Adiabatic Lapse Rate– This is basically the impact that the change in atmospheric pressure has with altitude on a parcel of air. These rates are distinguished by wet/dry and involve transfer of heat by induction. Wait! Are you kidding me? We have Saudi Clerics preaching in 2015 that the […]

The Bright Side Of The Worst Election Ever

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2016 will see two shitty, ineffectual, full-fisted corporate whores rig our country’s presidential election into a game of multimillionaires protecting the excesses of billionaires.