The ABCs of Breakups

Sex Memories: The only worthwhile wreckage from a dramatic split are those moments, etched in your gray matter, of tangled limbs, colliding…

Why I’m A Free Speech Absolutist

Why I’m A Free Speech Absolutist Americans pretty much believe in our First Amendment. Unlike many others in the West, a shrinking majority of us think you should never go to jail for writing a book or sharing a picture of some graffitior getting heated up on Twitter. Score one for us. USA! USA! But […]

THE ABCs OF GUN CULTURE

  This is my rifle, this is my gun. This is for fighting, this is for fun. Gun Culture in America Ammosexuals The first time I saw this term was here, describing a stupid, but dangerous group of needle-dicked men (and women) whose paranoia at having a brown-skinned man in the White House has led […]

Happy Sniper’s Day

From the Editor: We get lots of mail, and hate mail too, which we love. Here is a response from a real military man that I thought would be worthy of publishing. Guy D. McCardle, Jr. is the author of several articles on a wide variety of military related topics. Guy is a former Army […]

How To Deal With Conservative/Paranoid Facebook Friends

Facebook is pretty much the Gettysburg of the internet culture war. It’s the epicenter of binary bloodshed. Houses are divided, attacks are vicious, and no matter what happens, you will see body parts you wish you hadn’t. We can’t help it. Even the wussiest amongst us are embolden by the internet. I think Sir Friendzone […]

The 7 Types of Addicts You Meet Working in a Pharmacy

I Spilled My Meds Down the Sink (odd how this never happens with antibiotics), My Meds Got Stolen, You Must Have Miscounted,

Metal Heart: Seven Essential Life Lessons from an 80s Childhood

if you can’t Ride the Lightning, Bark at the Moon.

THE ABCs OF EVANGELICAL CHRISTIANS

Always Be Closing!-Wait! That’s another rant, but now that I think of it, not really. The only way that Evangelicals can hope to maintain their numbers, much less grow them, is by intense recruitment, by Selling! From infancy, family members are indoctrinated and recruited with fear, guilt and intimidation. They are sold the myth of […]

Why Bad Tippers Deserve Horrible Deaths

If you do not tip, or if you tip substantially less than social norms dictate, you deserve to be drowned in a cauldron of boiling vomit. You are the worst. A dictator who cleansed the earth of bad tippers would be remembered as a hero for a hundred generations. The argument for tipping is pretty […]

The ABCs OF CHRISTMAS

Please check out our always respectful and reverent Christmas Reviews Alcohol– Face it, whether it be the vilest Kosher Wine, Grandmas 90 proof eggnog or just the familiar handle of Jack Daniels, you cannot get through this period without it. Besides, its the biggest holiday of the year, so you can get hammered with a […]