OCTOBER 2004 COCKSUCKER OF THE MONTH

I’ve decided to shift the focus of Cocksucker away from asshole Republicans for the moment and shift it to space alien performance artists masquerading as conservative pundits.

KILL PAT ROBERTSON

I want Pat Robertson dead. Not merely “dead,” however, but pulled from his bed, shaved from head to toe, dipped in boiling water to loosen the flesh, beaten about the face and neck with a…

JANET’S FREEDOM HATING FILTHY FUCKING TITTY

Crack a beer and watch as America gets dumber and dumber and dumber and…

TEXAS AMERICA’S ASSHOLE

Texas is far worse than California , even though they both eat fucking ass.

SEPTEMBER 2004 COCKSUCKER OF THE MONTH

In a better world, this month’s Cocksucker would need no introduction.

RAPING NUNS IS ART

There is no such thing, legally or philosophically, as obscenity. There are no “prurient interests” or “community standards.”

GEORGE BUSH LIES AND SUCKS

THE MOST DISINGENUOUS PRESIDENT EVER!!!

LET THEM EAT JELLY BEANS

Let His Own Words Indict Him — The Real Ronald Reagan Hagiography Main Entry: ha·gi·og·ra·phy Pronunciation: -gE-‘ä-gr&-fE, -jE- Function: noun 1 : biography of saints or venerated persons 2 : idealizing or idolizing biography “Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do.” — 1981 “A tree is a tree. How many more do you have to […]

THE BIGGEST LIE OF THEM ALL

Will These Fuckers Ever Stop?

THE YOUTH VOTE

Instead, I had to argue with fellow liberals that yes, it is preferable that we elect Ken Salazar to the Senate rather than grandson-of-a-Nazi Pete Coors…