Facebook is pretty much the Gettysburg of the internet culture war. It’s the epicenter of binary bloodshed. Houses are divided, attacks are vicious, and no matter what happens, you will see body parts you wish you hadn’t. We can’t help it. Even the wussiest amongst us are embolden by the internet. I think Sir Friendzone […]
I Spilled My Meds Down the Sink (odd how this never happens with antibiotics), My Meds Got Stolen, You Must Have Miscounted,
if you can’t Ride the Lightning, Bark at the Moon.
Always Be Closing!-Wait! That’s another rant, but now that I think of it, not really. The only way that Evangelicals can hope to maintain their numbers, much less grow them, is by intense recruitment, by Selling! From infancy, family members are indoctrinated and recruited with fear, guilt and intimidation. They are sold the myth of […]
If you do not tip, or if you tip substantially less than social norms dictate, you deserve to be drowned in a cauldron of boiling vomit. You are the worst. A dictator who cleansed the earth of bad tippers would be remembered as a hero for a hundred generations. The argument for tipping is pretty […]
The greatest true crime TV episodes never made.
For many gun owners, gun control isn’t a debate. It’s a threat, yet the left insists upon having this conversation after every mass shooting. Gun control advocates need to understand how these people see themselves, what role guns play in their lives, and how they view the world. At times, they teeter between shrieking cowards […]
Asians love to gamble. Of all the racial stereotypes floating around, this is the most resoundingly true. Unless you spend a lot of time around gambling…
E3 2015: A GODAMN SLOBBERKNOCKER “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, STOP THE DAMN TRADE SHOW!” Hear ye, hear ye! Now comes the time for Electronic Entertainment Expo XXI, the 21st yearly celebration of marketing hyperbole, awkward stage presentations, and crazy ambitious promises (that companies will never be able to keep). Dates: June 16-18, 2015 Main Event: Facebook/Oculus […]
Goat at House on the Rock As many of you know, I just completed a nice road trip, a 2,000 mile journey through Wyoming, South Dakota, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Iowa and Nebraska. According to the world of Matt Cale there is no bad Americana, but I beg to differ. I present, the Good, the Bad, and […]