NFL Week 6: The Joker Is Really On Us Edition

Call it immersion. Call it a cleansing. These are the interesting times the fortune cookies warned us about, my friends. Mind you, I refuse to sell you hope in any direction. As gamblers we swear off rooting interests, of course, though we also prize honestly. So tell the truth; in the past two years, did […]

NFL Week 5: They Shoot Horses, Don’t They? Edition

Monday you can hold your head. Tuesday, Wednesday stay in bed. Thursday to be honest I would have taken the Rams anyway. Last Sunday Jesus Christ did I get us kicked in the teeth, my bad Holmes. Okay, fine, it needs work. I guess I’m just not on The Cure’s level, not yet anyway. And […]

NFL Week 4: The Idiot In Chief Strikes Again Edition

Umm. Yay? I guess? Maybe? It seems our long national nightmare will continue unabated for the foreseeable future, but there appears to be a chance, perhaps slimmer than one would assume, that the pigheaded imbecile currently running this country might have to face some repercussions for his actions, seemingly for the first time in his […]

NFL Week 3: Boss T-Shirt Edition

So get a load of this. Nine days ago as I write this, a close friend of mine had an op ed published by the New York Times. And it’s not even your standard Ross Douthat Bret Stephens garbage, it’s actually really compelling. So how am I to rectify this with our friendship? I sure […]

NFL Week 2: It’s All About the Ace And Not The Trouble Edition

For many years, Antonio Brown’s sole claim to relevancy was limited to being one of the best wide receivers in the world. He grew up in Liberty City, Florida, much like the kids shown on the criminally underrated Friday Night Tykes, became a standout two-sport athlete, and did three years at Central Michigan University, perhaps […]

NFL Football: Week One Edition

Hey do you see that up there? Right up there, next to my name? See how it says September 5, 2019? You know what that means, don’t you? That’s right gang. It’s That Time of Year! Whoops! How did that get there? I was going for Andy Williams. SweetJesus, one would think it would be […]

Ruthless Preseason 3: Out of Luck Edition

This will only be my third season of writing at Ruthless. I am hardly an institution around here, not some grizzled veteran beat-writer type. Respectable, yes. Consistent, absolutely. Lust-inducing, sure, I get that all the time. But I’m not part of the furniture, nor some mythical Bob Considine supplemented with a chiseled physique and a […]

Ruthless NFL 2019 Preseason Preview Part II: (She Gives) Great Helmet

This is complete bullshit. I am being forced to write this column under protest because the powers that be at Ruthlessco International Unlimited are forcing me to abandon my trusty Chromebook laptop after more than ten years of faithful service! Granted, it was responsible for the occasional inadvertent doublespace, thus mucking up the ASCII characters […]

Ruthless NFL 2019 Preseason Preview Featuring Detailed Hall Of Fame Game Breakdown!

Just kidding. It’s the Hall of Fame Game for Christ’s sake. You can’t – or, to be adamantly clear, you should not under any circumstances – gamble on it. Come on, you knew that already. You know where you are. We don’t suffer fools around here, gladly or otherwise. This is a gambling column. Don’t […]

The Lakers are going to suck for a long time

Hurray! The Lakers Suck and Will for the Foreseeable Future “I see your hair is burning. Hills are filled with fire.” LA is a dumpster fire right now, and I can’t decide what will act as more of continued accelerant that keeps the flames riding high, the franchise owners and management, or LeBron James? As […]