Ben Roethlisberger, You’re the man in Pittsburgh. Women wielding cheese fries and Iron City Beer want fuck you in their front yards.

Generally speaking, Jesus freaks love publicity. They take to it like gay guys at the club take to amyl-nitrates, cocaine and anonymous sex in the bathroom.

Teams like the Lions, Texans, Vikings, Rams and Bills consistently fuck up their drafts because they think they have some magical ability to see something on film that no one else sees.

Duh, duh, duh.

Something amazing happened. A sustained performance, the likes of which we see perhaps once per year in the sporting world.

You’ve earned a cookie. Perhaps you can eat it out of my ass after class.

“There are three F’s in Dungy’s life: his faith, his family and then football in that order.”