Under the Skin (2013)

Film Title

Under the Skin (2013)

Synopsis

Mysterious woman seduces lonely men.

Director

Johnathan Glazer

Cast

Scarlett Johannsson
Paul Brannigan
Lots of other dudes

While accurate, to dismiss Jonathan Glazer’s unorthodox alien sci-fi as enigmatic is a simplistic exercise in reductionism, but it is also the easiest to do. Though tangential, comparisons to 2001: A Space Odyssey were inevitable, they would prove only insofar as creative intent. What Kubrick sought to ask would ultimately eclipse what his epic attempted […]

Games Media Shoots Massive Loads Over Orlando Shooting (Of Course)

Games Media Shoots Massive Loads Over Orlando Shooting (Of Course) 50 people are dead in Orlando, as many are injured, and the body count record for a single mass shooting in the US has almost doubled. Heres what we know: The shooter, Omar Mateen (AKA Omar Mir Seddique Mateen)pledged his allegiance to ISIS. The shooter […]

Gone Home Review

Gone Home Review Note: This article originally ran on 12/20/2013 at Subtle Blend. In (dis)honor of Gone Home’s console release and inclusion as one of June’s free Playstation Plus games, we rerun it here for the edification of all who see it. Summary: 2013’s over-hyped sacred cow: Production values from 1999 married to an interactive […]

The Nice Guys

Film Title

The Nice Guys

Synopsis

At least Russell Crowe did not sing.

Director

Shane Black

Cast

Russell Crowe
Ryan Gosling
Angourie Rice
Matt Bomer
Margaret Qualley
Keith David
Beau Knapp
Yaya DaCosta

  The Nice Guys was a highly rated (7.9 on IMDB and 70 with Metacritic) movie starring Russell Crowe and Ryan Gosling. I was expecting an entertaining movie in the spirit of Lethal Weapon or 48 Hours , but what I saw was more to the tune of Dumb and Dumber. Dumb was a fat, […]

The Trials of Muhammad Ali

A radical in winter.

DOOM Review (2016)

    DOOM Review (2016) Pictured: DOOM’s design document, in its entirety. Within the first minute of DOOM (a game which, like MORTAL KOMBAT, refers to itself in ALL CAPS, and who are we to argue?), you have freed yourself from the chains bolting you to a sarcophagus which was recovered from the depths of […]

How To Deal With Conservative/Paranoid Facebook Friends

Facebook is pretty much the Gettysburg of the internet culture war. It’s the epicenter of binary bloodshed. Houses are divided, attacks are vicious, and no matter what happens, you will see body parts you wish you hadn’t. We can’t help it. Even the wussiest amongst us are embolden by the internet. I think Sir Friendzone […]

Nightcrawler

Film Title

Nightcrawler

Synopsis

When planning your work is not enough

Director

Dan Gilroy

Cast

Jake Gyllenhaal
Michael Papajohn
Marco Rodriguez
Bill Paxton
James Huang
Rene Russo
Riz Ahmed

Despite being categorically different in tone, Nightcrawler is similar to Carancho in featuring cottage industries named in generic, often pejorative fashion. Except an honest assessment of Nightcrawler would do well without two things, to be fair: heaping plaudits on the performance by Jake Gyllenhaal, and; partaking in fanboy fuckery extended to a character that no […]

The 7 Types of Addicts You Meet Working in a Pharmacy

I Spilled My Meds Down the Sink (odd how this never happens with antibiotics), My Meds Got Stolen, You Must Have Miscounted,

MOMMIE DEAREST

Film Title

Mommie Dearest

Synopsis

Just in time for Mother’s Day

Director

Frank Perry

Cast

Faye Dunaway
Diana Scarwid
Steve Forrest
Howard Da Silva

She’s not mad at you, she’s mad at the dirt.