Over the Top Movie Review

“Lots of truckers do it.”

STONE COLD

Bosworth’s mullet is fucking absurd.

HARD TO KILL

Ann Coulter would call Seagal a traitor. Then he would put her in an arm lock and snap her radius and ulna like Twix.

THE HANOI HILTON

American POWs sit, wait, and wait some more.

NO DEAD HEROES

Crazed KGB agent brainwashes Green Beret; hundreds perish.

NEXT OF KIN

So just to be clear, this guy was killed when hounds chased him into a bus full of snakes.

NAVY SEALS

Oooooooh! Navy SEALS!

TOP GUN

Sweaty young studs fly planes, shower together.

ALIENS (1986)

Bitches man, bitches.

THE THING

Kurt Russell and his hat burn several aliens dead.