A Chuck Norris film produced by Cannon, directed by Aaron Norris, and featuring heavy allusions to Kurosawa. Seriously.
UNDEFEATABLE
December 17, 2009 by
The story of Stingray, a cage fighter who likes fighting, but loves marital rape. In fact, Stingray is so into his redheaded wife that when he rapes her, he actually thinks of the black guy he just hammered in the ring
KNOCK OFF
September 25, 2009 by
It’s about a kickboxing fashion consultant trying to save the world from exploding jeans.
OUT FOR A KILL: 90s INACTION
April 12, 2009 by
Is it even possible to articulate the premise? Unfortunately, it is. Seagal is “the most distinguished academic” at Yale, because it would be a bit of a stretch for him to be the most distinguished academic at Harvard. He’s so smart that he becomes a patsy for a Chinese drug ring who try to […]
CYBER TRACKER
April 8, 2009 by
Can the premise even be articulated? Sort of. Mix Robocop with The Terminator and cast the robot with a big bald fucker that looks like Steve Wilkos. Add a real life kickboxer Don “The Dragon” Wilson as a human who is targeted by the Steve Wilkos which is controlled by his former employers (a senator […]
The Cutter
March 30, 2009 by
Can the premise even be articulated? With some difficulty. This script had been in circulation for ten years and was being changed a bit with every producer, so there’s kind of a Chinese Democracy effect. Essentially, Chuck is a private eye who is hired to find this old jeweler who has been kidnapped. Some […]
URBAN JUSTICE (90S INACTION)
February 7, 2009 by
“Fuck Santa Claus. He never got me shit. That’s why I sell dope”
