BOAT TRIP

Who likes surprises? Not us–it’s awful

BLOOD SIMPLE

It’s a thriller that is as convoluted as a Mexican election but presents nary an inconsistency or implausibility.

BLADE RUNNER: DIRECTOR’S CUT

Designed for your DVD player

BLADE TRINITY

Seriously, though, the Poochie-ness of the film was hard for me to stomach most of the time.

BLADE II

Blade II is what Charlie’s Angels should have been. Let’s run through the ingredients for a good, stupid movie.

HAROLD AND KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE

At least its social statements are largely accidental and laid back, rather than pushy and insistent.

HARD TO KILL

Ann Coulter would call Seagal a traitor. Then he would put her in an arm lock and snap her radius and ulna like Twix.

HARD CORE LOGO

Still, the Hard Core Logo is worth seeing if you are interested in the subject matter.

HARDCORE

The incomparable George C. Scott and the seedy underground porn scene of the 1970s - is any further explanation really necessary?

THE HAPPINESS OF THE KATAKURIS

It’s like Shallow Grave meets the The Walton’s with the musical element of The Jungle Book.