Syriana

Written and Directed by Stephen Gaghan Starring: – Kayvan Novak as Arash – George Clooney as Bob Barnes – Amr Waked as Mohammed Sheik Agiza – Christopher Plummer as Dean Whiting – Jeffrey Wright as Bennett Holiday – Chris Cooper as Jimmy Pope Why on earth do I continue to see movies like Syriana? Why, […]

DEATH RACE 2000

The greatest film of all time. To involve David Carradine.

UNIVERSAL SOLDIER

Released: 1992 Jimmy–Mike from Hobart’s Big Brother–tries his hand… Tagline: The Future Has a Bad Attitude. Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence: Ghosts of Vietnam are no match for Belgian ass. Homoeroticism: Well, to be honest, I was initially confused by the early appearance of the female lead. She’s a tough-talking, […]

AGUIRRE DER ZORN GOTTES

Written and Directed by Werner Herzog Starring: – Klaus Kinski as Don Lope de Aguirre – Helena Rojo as Inez – Del Negro as Brother Gaspar de Carvajal – Ruy Guerra as Don Pedro de Ursua – Peter Berling as Don Fernando de Guzman Watching Aguirre: Wrath of God you realize that Apocalypse Now is […]

MY BEST FIEND

Kinski/Herzog fucking rule. Period.

BURDEN OF DREAMS

Herzog achieves the impossible: his uncompromising vision.

MUNICH

Spielberg’s finest, and certainly his bravest.

METALLICA: SOME KIND OF MONSTER

I’m just going to say this up front: Metallica: Some Kind of Monster is funnier than Spinal Tap. Holy shit, I haven’t had a good laugh like that in a long time. See, in Spinal Tap the theme was the same–once dominant rock band falls from grace and does their damndist to get “it” back–but […]

COMMANDO

More than you could possibly imagine. I mean all the crap about Arnold being Der Gropin’fuhrer was just a rightwing-ruse to distract Californians from the fact that Schwarzenegger has starred in the single gayest movie ever made.

BALLISTIC: ECKS VS. SEVER

Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw […]