THE THING

Kurt Russell and his hat burn several aliens dead.

THE GODFATHER PART II

There are three things in this life that I can recommend without the slightest bit of hesitation: finding a job that requires minimal effort, finding a spouse that can engage in spirited conversation, and, perhaps above all, watching The Godfather Part II on the big screen as it was intended.

THE GOD WHO WASN’T THERE

The best part of the movie is the people he interviews who all maintain that Jesus is a load of bullshit.

GO WEST YOUNG MAN

A very entertaining little documentary about two filmmakers from The Netherlands

SPIDER-MAN

Wow! I mean, fuck me and wow! Spider-Man is an amazing movie.

EYE OF THE TIGER

The bigger the teeth, the mightier the cock.

STEEL DAWN

Tagline: He is the desert warrior, carving the future with his sword. Entire Story in Fewer Words than are in this Sentence: Patrick Swayze stands on his head for freedom. Homoeroticism: Swayze always did his best to cater to the leathercrowd, and he tips his cap once again to those whoneed to see him in […]

GLADIATOR

I got so carried away with the ridiculousness of Gladiator winning the Academy Award that I forgot how good it really is.

GIRL WITH A PEARL EARRING

Another Movie Review!

THE GIRL NEXT DOOR

I’m actually sort of speechless.