ADAPTATION

A truly original motion picture is, like a deep-thinking conservative, a rare find in the world today. Given the sheer, deafening volume of cliché-ridden garbage that seems to flow endlessly from the sewers of Hollywood, it seems almost impossible that a work of daring and mad brilliance could ever be produced in any corner of […]

ABOUT SCHMIDT

  Directed by Alexander Payne Based on the novel by Louis Begley Starring – Jack Nicholson as Warren Schmidt – Hope Davis as Jeannie Schmidt – Dermont Mulroney as Randall Hertzel – Kathy Bates gets naked! Everyone who sees About Schmidt is probably going to comment on how Jack Nicholson played the anti-Nicholson. How his […]

THEY’RE COMING FOR THE INTELLECTUALS

“Take away our right to say ‘fuck’ and you take away our right to say ‘fuck the government’.”

ABOUT A BOY

A funny thing happened on the way to New York: I actually saw a decent movie on an airplane while sitting in coach.

THE ABC’S OF SEX EDUCATION FOR TRAINABLE PERSONS

This was supposed to be the absolute Holy Fucking Grail.

The 2 Best Films of 2005

For me, 2005 was a year best forgotten. At least I assume so, since I can barely remember any of it. I think I got out to the theater twice, and each time sitting in the dark without any intoxicants to extinguish my thoughts was such a trial, that I kept looking up and expecting […]

Syriana

Written and Directed by Stephen Gaghan Starring: – Kayvan Novak as Arash – George Clooney as Bob Barnes – Amr Waked as Mohammed Sheik Agiza – Christopher Plummer as Dean Whiting – Jeffrey Wright as Bennett Holiday – Chris Cooper as Jimmy Pope Why on earth do I continue to see movies like Syriana? Why, […]

DEATH RACE 2000

The greatest film of all time. To involve David Carradine.

UNIVERSAL SOLDIER

Released: 1992 Jimmy–Mike from Hobart’s Big Brother–tries his hand… Tagline: The Future Has a Bad Attitude. Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence: Ghosts of Vietnam are no match for Belgian ass. Homoeroticism: Well, to be honest, I was initially confused by the early appearance of the female lead. Shes a tough-talking, […]

AGUIRRE DER ZORN GOTTES

Written and Directed by Werner Herzog Starring: – Klaus Kinski as Don Lope de Aguirre – Helena Rojo as Inez – Del Negro as Brother Gaspar de Carvajal – Ruy Guerra as Don Pedro de Ursua – Peter Berling as Don Fernando de Guzman Watching Aguirre: Wrath of God you realize that Apocalypse Now is […]